"Sexocentric Marriage" by Mark Driscoll

Also known as "Real Marriage" by Mark and Grace Driscoll.

Because, you see, according to Driscoll, lots of sex makes a good marriage in the mind of a husband. Sex is the center of a good marriage, hence the use of my clumsy, made-up, mock Latin word "sexocentric". Because it is Sexocentric marriages that Mark promotes in his book.

He says on page 164 that: "For a wife, sex comes out of a healthy relationship, whereas, for a husband it leads to one."


What, you say? Did I actually read the book to find this quote? No, I absolutely did not. I left that for the experts Wenatchee the Hatchet (WTH) and Wendy and Andy Alsup who, as former members of Driscoll's church, have kept and eye on him.

The Alsups state in their review on Mark's Sexocentric Marriage book that if for some reason Grace would become incapable of providing Mark with all the sex he needed or wanted or be incapable of any sex at all, "If that became the case, the majority of their marriage book would be useless to them."

I say all this for a reason.

I want to direct your attention to WTH's article discussing this in a bit more detail with the added information concerning Pastor Bill Clem who resigned from Mars Hill in 2013 and who also preached to single men on how to be able to love their (future) wives in non-sexual ways.

Mark Driscoll on Bill Clem leaving in 2013, Clem on ovarian cancer treatment and the need for husbands to love wives in non-sexual ways

C.S.Lewis and the Dangers of Pornograpy

I was searching Wade Burleson's blog for a different reason and bumped into this:

"Imaginary women are always accessible, always subservient, [give] no call for sacrifice or adjustment, and can be endowed with erotic and psychological attractions which no real woman can rival. Among these shadow brides, the viewer is always adored, always the perfect lover; no demand is made on his unselfishness, no mortification ever made on his vanity.  In the end imaginary women become the medium through which he increasingly adores himself. The main work of life is to come out of ourselves, out of the little dark prison of selfishness we are born in, to know God in the center of our being and from that place to offer ourselves for the sake of others. All things are to be avoided which retard this process. The danger of pornography is of coming to love the prison of self."
 ~ C.S. Lewis


Link to original post: Lewis & Porn

Divine Right of Kings in English Translations.

And I'm not just talking about the Kings of old. I'm also talking about the destructive force trying to make men into the prophets, priests, and kings of their homes over their lowly subjected wives.

Here is an excellent comment from Arce at TWW concerning study of the Greek NT and comparing it to the English translations that we have today. He claims that a "great deal of what we have in the English NT that is the result of the terrible patriarchy and divine right influences on the KJV translators that carries over into almost all English translations today."

Here is a link to his comment:
Arce speaks on English translations

And here is his comment in full that I don't want people to miss. It is in response to someone who is just sure the Bible give him the divine right to be the boss over his subjected wife.

And again: The English translation of the Ephesians passages has added words not there in the Greek, selectively. In particular, the word translated “submit” (not exactly the best translation of the Greek word, as it means something different in our culture) and the word “love” both get inserted in places where they do not appear in the Greek, selectively. Both words should appear in application to the husband or wife if we are inserting, b/c of parallelism. OR neither word should appear.

The verse that precedes about all submitting to all is the key. And then the submission of a wife is qualified — to her own husband, not to all the other men in the church.

And Gene, I have a Ph.D., a J.D., and a 800 plus volume of theological books, with multiple commentaries of each of the NT books and most of the OT books, in my home. I have been an evangelical Christian for more than 55 years, and a Baptist for most of those. As a teenager, I attended the adult bible studies my church held on week nights at least two months a year. I have taught adult classes in church, have served on the diaconate in several churches, and as chairman of major committees such as personnel and finance.

In addition, I chaired an extensive study of ALL of the verses that anyone raised as potentially relevant to the role of women in the church, including all of those verses that relate to the marital relathionship. We explored all of the verses in Hebrew or Greek as appropriate, in context, and reviewed the work of various Hebrew and Greek scholars.

And I can tell you that, there is a great deal of what we have in the English NT that is the result of the terrible patriarchy and divine right influences on the KJV translators that carries over into almost all English translations today. It relates to all of the issues around the words “head”, “submit”, etc. And you can choose to disagree with me if you wish. But the teaching of comp and the teaching of patriarchy in the church is not supported by the Greek NT, and it is contributing to the shrinking of the church as women, who have kept the faith alive in many places, are leaving the organized church that teaches what becomes the excuse for abuse and denying the equality of all before God.

Why the Need for a Boss?

On the heels of my "Who's the Boss?" post, TWW has a post concerning this question.
Comps are quite convinced that mutual submission is either wrong or impossible or rebellion or something. I seem to remember that there is a post on the the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood site entitled, "The Myth of Mutual Submission". Yep. they are pretty much against.

Wade Burleson did a guest post on TWW last night that addresses the thought of Mutual Submission in Marriage. It is not nearly as 'Mythical' as CBMW would like you to believe.

Here is a link to that post:

Complementarianism verses Mutual Submission in Marriage.

Who's the Boss?

This question is very important to a lot of people.

Someone has to be in charge. If someone is not in charge, chaos will ensue, or so goes the thinking.

And, in case anyone hasn't noticed, if someone has to be in charge, there is a large number of men who will do whatever they can to make sure that it isn't some woman bossing them around.

Here is a quote from John Piper:
" And so I distinguish between personal, direct exercises of authority that involve manhood and womanhood because it's personal.  She's right there.  She's woman on man, and and I'm being directly pressed on by this woman in an authoritative way.  Should she be doing that; should I be experiencing that, and my answer is no.  I think that's contrary to the way God made us…"


Source for this excerpt is from TWW's TCC's 2014 Women's National Women's Conference.

Note that Piper says, "should I be experiencing (a woman's authority), and my answer is no. I think that is contrary to the way God made us..."

Piper wants to make sure that he never has to experience a woman's authority and he calls on his opinion that God agrees with him. He feels that God thinks Piper should not have to experience a woman's authority.

Piper and the other men who dread the authority of women go to great lengths to make sure they never have to experience this horrible thing. But someone has to be in charge... So they go to great lengths to make sure that they, the men, get to be that One In Charge.

Here is Shirley's second installment of her Desiring to be God series:

Desiring to be God-Part 2
(check out Part 1 if you haven't yet)

and here is a blog post examining the error made concerning Genesis 3:16:
Genesis 3:16 is not a mandate for husbands...it is a warning for wives...

So, who's the boss?

If you are a Christian, then it should be Jesus, not some mortal man somewhere that fears women.

Edited to add this blog post from a friend who gets comments from time to time from people obsessed with who the boss is and how much they want men to be the boss over women.
Submission, Obedience, and Authority
(Oh, how people obsess over this. It's unhealthy for the spirit life.)

And from another friend:
Was Sarah Bessey Right? (which goes into Denny Burk's Desire to be god over his wife, not in those words.)

There seems to be a pattern going on here.