Talk of Hephzibah House

My friend, Joe at Incongruous Circumspection is coming to the defense of the abused again.

I just love it when he does that.

http://incongruouscircumspection.blogspot.com/2012/01/tim-dunkins-hephzibah-house-faux-pas.html

I like seeing strong men in action. He and men like Lewis Wells boost my faith in men.

http://thecommandmentsofmen.blogspot.com/2012/01/when-sycophants-spit-against-wind.html

These are true brothers to their sisters. They are not like this Tim Dunkin who defends the strong by further abusing the already down-trodden.

Human Structures in Review

We have spent three months on human structures.
In March we looked at Job, false structures and started talking about order vs chaos or Apollonian vs Dionysian and even touched on yin/yang.
In April we looked at the Wild at Heart phenomenon and how it has affected the church and perpetuated a not always female friendly male vs female structure. We also looked at the tiny boxes or structures that small-minded men build for women using religion to beat them into down into those boxes.
In May, we looked at big-hearted men and contrasted the loving freedom they offer to women with the limiting, restrictive structures that small mind men uphold for their sisters. We also did a rather long series on Chimananda Adichie's "Single Story" and how this applied to human structure.

Perhaps I've spend an inordinate amount of time on human structures. If so, it is only because I want people to start discerning the existence of these human structures and begin to hold them up to the light of scripture in order to debunk the false structures.

But this month, the lovely month of June, we will turn our attention on some of the ways that God structures things and how they differ from human structures.

And here I will leave you a verse.

Isaiah 55:8 For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Neither are your ways My ways," declares the Lord.
Vs 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, SO are My ways higher than your ways, And my thoughts than your thoughts.

The Single Story and Big Hearted Men

The beauty of big hearted men is that they DON'T reduce their women down to the Single Story or work to take away their voices.

Big hearted men create a place where a woman can speak freely from her heart of pain and bitterness and not be chided for not holding to the Single Story that CBMW and Patriarchy has written for her.

A good example of this, of course, is Lewis Wells and his drive to set the daughters of Patriarchy free from the Single Story that Patriarchy has written for them. He sees the need to give them space to heal and be delivered from the oppression of that Single Story.

Here is a link to a particularly good post from him on healing those wounded and destroyed by Patriarchy. In it, he emphasized the need for young women to find out who they are and to be given the freedom to say or not say what the want, when they want to, because they have never has that right before and don't even know how to walk in it.

http://thecommandmentsofmen.blogspot.com/2011/05/to-heal.html

Lewis doesn't use terms like "Single Story" or phrases like "Find their voice". But the road he recommends for healing will help women to break from the Single Story and find their own, authentic voice.

In contrast, Tina Anderson's pastor, Chuck Phelps, did what he could to control and squash Tina's authentic voice. He reassigned her a fake voice and gave her a Single Story concerning what happened to her. Instead of the true and many stories of betrayal, broken trust, the strong oppressing the vulnerable, etc. he gave her the story of 'temptress', 'strange woman', and needing to be held responsible for her share of the blame. He held her responsible for things she couldn't control and decided that Tina was not a wounded and exploited lamb. Rather, he assigned her the position of scapegoat, bearing the brunt of the guilt and sending her away from the camp to bear her shame with strangers. Then those strangers forced Tina to write a letter of apology to the wife of her alleged rapist for betraying her.

http://www.tinaandersonfoundation.org/

I am glad, after all these years, that Tina has found her voice and has the chance to bring to light more stories concerning her life and the dark times she was forced to walk in by others.

Houses of Healing

There is a scene from Lord of the Rings that didn't appear in the theatrical version. I've shared it elsewhere. But because it seems to go with this series on strong men and men who have the heart of true brothers towards women, I've decided to link it here for those of my friends who haven't seen it yet.

Jesus taught us to treat one another as brothers and sisters. And this view is so lost when you start dividing things up into boxes and roles and giving one gender the lesser role. When in fact we are all called (male and female) to be warriors and brothers of light. The chapter that immediately follows Ephesians 5 is Ephesians 6 which tells us, regardless of gender, to take up the full armor of God. Yet the role pushers want to make only men warriors and relegate women to helpless damsels in distress, or victims. And such a set up sets women up for failure. Then when failure comes, the woman is relegated to the level of strange women and her humanity, brother/sisterhood is lost and she becomes even lesser still and a thing to be mocked, warned against, and even further used.

More about that later.

This scene opens up with a heart wrenching cry from a warrior brother who has discovered his sister's body on the battle field and shows his anguish over her. Then it quickly moves to the following scene in the houses of healing and what follows there.

The reason I like this scene is because it shows a couple things. One, the love of a brother for his sister (who refused the box of her culture and went into battle thus fulfilling an ancient prophecy and gaining a huge victory). And, two, the healing of this sister by another man who is not her biological brother, but is most definitely her brother in arms and in heart.

There is a third man shown who becomes a love interest later, but in this scene it shows his attraction and admiration for her heroic actions on the battlefield.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6UhO9K7F3I

True brothers want to make the church into a house of healing for all, including women, no matter where the women come from or how they are wounded. True brothers believe that the name of God, "The Lord our Healer" still applies today and is more important than their own 'advancement' and authority in the Kingdom of God.
False brothers are only concerned with their own authority, controlling women and making extra rules for them that men don't have to obey, and extra sins that men can't be guilty of.

Strong Men, P.C.

Here is another fellow that I'm unsure what his name is. But he has a video on youtube where he is talking about men using the Bible to hurt women. The video is listed under Prophecy Channel, Hence, for this post, the man speaking is dubbed P.C.

Where as I.C. demonstrated his view through anger, you can hear the catch in P.C. voice as he goes through Ephesians 5 and talks about how it has been abused to hurt women. He's imploring men, and a certain man in particular, to not look upon headship the way the present world looks upon headship, but rather look at it from a Roman culture stand point.

P.C. also carries the heart of Jesus for his sisters, being brought to tears over the abuses that his sisters have faced in the name of God. He wants to bring comfort to hurt women and correction to men who don't know how to be brothers and uplift women.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVloUiTwdO8&feature=player_embedded

Strong Men, I.C.

Yep, you read it right. I.C. because I don't know his name. But he has a blog and I was made aware of it through Lewis's blog.

A certain fellow by the name of Spencer came to Lewis's blog one day, and was determined to set us all straight on the clear Biblical teaching of female subordination and the need for tactics for fathers to control their rebellious daughters.

I.C. wrote an open letter to Spencer on his own blog, and I'll tell ya. I.C.'s anger and indignation was not unlike Jesus going into the temple with a whip and chasing out the money changers. Jesus said that God's house was to be a house of prayer but men were making it a den of thieves.
This is what is going on in sections of Christianity. There a thieves who are stealing freedom from others. Jesus said that you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. But the thieves have exchanged the truth for a lie, labeled it 'biblical' and even called it 'clearly scriptural'. And the lie has brought deep bondage into the lives of women.

With the same zeal that Jesus drove out the money changers, I.C. set about to boldly confront a truth exchanger who is seduced by the lies of patriarchy.

The truth exchangers pretend to be brothers, and even in a sense may be Christian brothers. But they are very misled brothers like my sister-in-law's bio brother who didn't know how to be an actual brother. (May 9th post)

I.C.. along with Lewis, knows how to be a true brother, a defender of women against the thieves who are out to steal freedom in Jesus. It's exciting for me to see men who are strong and love women with the love of the Lord rather than with the love of gaining seats of honor for themselves.

You can read I.C.'s open response to Spencer here and take comfort in his zeal for our freedom.
http://incongruouscircumspection.blogspot.com/2011/04/my-open-response-to-spencer.html

Strong Men, Lewis

Most of my readers are familiar with the blog "The Commandments of Men".

The host of this blog is Lewis Wells who had a close encounter with Neo-Patriarchy that has left him shattered. He relates this encounter in his, "The Joke was on Me" Series.

He has received a severe wounding at the hands of supposed 'brothers' in the 'Church' but instead of turning around and wounding others, he has found strength in Jesus Christ and has become a watchman on the wall, warning others against the false doctrines and commandments of men being held up as gospel.

I could say a great deal more but would like to quote one of his commenter's on his "Steadfast Daughters Leaves Me Quivering Once Again" thread.

DoaHF said to him at 12:16 pm on November 22, 2010: "Three cheers, Lewis. Thanks for standing up for us. You didn't have to, and you sure didn't have to care at all after what they did to you, but here you are. You keep us laughing, make us think, and bring us through the hard days. Much love."

Lewis is being a true brother who sees his sisters as valuable and worth defending against men who conspire to use religion to control their women. He wants people, including women, to be free in the love of God and Spirit of Christian brotherhood.

As DoaHF said, he doesn't have to care or stand up for the downtrodden, but he does.

And here is a quote of his that explains his motivation that he has a the top of his blog: "When we become unwilling to risk everything for the sake of the right thing, our salt has lost its savor, and we no longer season our world."

Thank you Lewis, for being salt and a light in the darkness. The light you shine for your brothers and sisters showing them the way out of the darkness of patriarchy is much appreciated.

You are a strong secure man that I can honor and am proud to call brother.

http://thecommandmentsofmen.blogspot.com/ (link for anyone visiting who hasn't been to his blog yet)

Strong Men, My Brother

I'm proud of my younger brother and could make a very long list of the reasons why.

But for the sake of my strong man series, I want to relate one, on-going story, that makes me know what sort of man he is and how he views women.

My brother's wife, Tracy, also has a brother. But her brother isn't nearly as decent as my brother. In fact, some of the stories of her growing up that she has told me have rather been upsetting.

Tracy is an awesome person and has many friends. Her brother hasn't been able to keep good friends, and has been jealous of Tracy and her friends. But as Tracy puts it, he's always been jealous of her but never wanted to be her friend. She has male cousins who have been far better 'brothers' to her than her biological brother ever was.

Tracy's family, her mother and father, herself, and my brother, have put up with a lot of bad behavior from Tracy's brother over the years.

Until finally my brother had enough and put his foot down. Tracy's brother had insulted one of Tracy's dear friends and was even lying about her in front of 'the guys'. My brother stood up to him, called him on the lies and told Tracy's brother that he would not stand by and let this man slander this woman unchallenged.

Tracy's brother didn't like it that my brother didn't play along with the he-man woman haters club game.

There is much more history that follows than I can't relate here. But one thing led to another and my brother finally told Tracy's brother that he's not welcome in their house until he learns how to treat people .

My sister-in-law, Tracy, feels loved and well protected from her brother that doesn't know how to be a brother to any woman.

So my hat is off to my brother, one of my heroes. And I figured he would be a good one to start off this series.

My strong men series is about men who I'm proud to call brothers because they are real brothers as opposed the the small, insecure men who are more concerned with making themselves overlords of women than being brothers.

I Really Don't Hate Men

Just in case anyone was wondering. No, I don't hate men.

I'm sure it probably looked like it while I was dealing with three small minded men in high places. And truth be known, I don't even hate those men. They frustrate me. Their attitude towards women is so far the polar opposite of inspiring that they make me want to beat my head against the wall. But I don't hate them. I see that they are bound up by sin and woundedness and are so insecure they cannot be honest with themselves over that fact. They have to hide behind mistranslation of Biblical text and wrongly dividing the word of truth in order to protect the deep places of their heart against the 'evil feminine' that wants to suck their manhood down a black hole. The problem is, that black hole doesn't exist outside themselves. And it certainly doesn't exist within any woman. It exists within themselves. They just want to transfer the blame elsewhere. They just want to follow in the foot steps of the first Adam rather than in the footsteps of the second Adam, Jesus Christ.

My attitude toward such men is best summed up in the words of Buzz Lightyear that were quoted and linked to in the April 26th post: "You are a sad, strange, little man and you have my pity."

I'm sure insecure men who might stumble on my small men series would be convinced that I was abused and mistreated as a child and such.

But, in fact, the opposite was true.

The men in my life, my grandfathers, my father, my uncles, my brother, my male cousins... They were/are all strong, good, secure men. And the family I married into, my father-in-law, my brother-in-laws, my husband's uncles and cousins, They are all strong, good, secure men.

In fact I was so surrounded by them that I had a hard time understanding women who were not blessed this way. It took a long time for me to discern and gain empathy for women who had been used and abused by men. But I did get there.

And in gaining understanding of the wounded women of the world, as a Christian, I became concerned with the doctrine that perpetuates an imbalance between the sexes and protects abusers while blaming victims. The more I learned about this false and imbalanced doctrine and the men who push it, the more appalled I became.

But for me, it's not about hating men.

It's about standing against false gospel, a false religion parading around as the gospel, that favors men over women.

So, to balance out my little tirade against the three little men (who might or might not be considered male-chauvinist pigs) I plan to point out strong, secure men, either in my life or on the Internet plus at least one in fiction that more closely represent the true heart of Jesus toward women than anything that comes out of the mouth of Mark Driscoll.

Off Topic, My Son part 2

My three most popular posts are in this order: "The Wounded Healer" written December 6, 2010, "Sin in the Camp" written June 6, 2010, and "Off Topic, My Son" Written September 13, 2010.

And in honor of the next series I'm going to write on strong, secure men, I'd like to revisit the young man that I'm proud of.

My boys like to watch zombie movies. They are kind of zombie experts. And sometimes my son likes to share those movies with me. I'm not so crazy about them. But for mother son time, I will sit down and watch one of the milder ones, or one with an actual plot that is somewhat intriguing, that my son thinks I can handle since I hate slasher, gory movies.

Well, we watched 28 Weeks Later, the sequel to 28 Days Later. And no, I'm NOT recommending it. I kind of wished I hadn't watched it.
But funny thing, in the opening scene my son warned me that there is a guy who was a real, uhm, well, I'll use his words... douche. Turns out this guy abandons his wife rather than going back to save her, which most certainly would have lead to his own death or infection to the rage virus.

When I saw the scene, I came at it from a cold, objective, body count position and said that there was little point in him going back because she would be dead or infected before he got back to her and then he'd be dead too.

He looked at me funny and said, "Of all the people I've talked to, you're the only one who hasn't agreed 100% that he was a total douche."

I laughed, because all the people he talks to about these movies are Christian, guys his age, and maybe a few girls. He and his friends have a good, strong idea of what real men are in spite of the dire warnings given by the pushers of male hierarchy. My son's growth, person hood, and yes, even his manhood, is progressing beautifully. He knows right from wrong. He understands sacrifice for family, women, and children (there was a child involved in the movie as well, though not their child, long story.).

So I praised my son on his attitude of love and self-sacrifice and I took heart in the fact that the young, Christian, American male is not in danger of losing his manhood as much as the noisy gong preachers keep saying.

So the next few posts on strong, secure, Christian men will be dedicated to him and my brother in honor of the fact that I'm proud of them and consider them both my brothers in Christ because neither of them promote a jock strap religion.