Sunday, November 14, 2010

The Hero's Journey

I read a book that helped me understand the hero's journey and the wounded healer.
The book is called Obsessive-compulsive Disorder:New Help for the Family and is written by Herbert L. Gravitz.

Now before anyone says, "We aren't dealing with OCD so this post isn't for me," Let me explain a couple of things.

I don't have anyone with OCD in my life either. But the book was recommended because much of the advice given would apply to anyone dealing with someone else's psychological or emotional issues. It is help for the family. My spouse has ADHD. He's a good man with a bad disorder. This book helped me to understand the road to healing by helping me understand the Hero's Journey.

Also, what is Patriarchy if it is not an obsession to impose rigid order on those trapped in the system.

Now, I'm not recommending this book, so to speak. Though it wouldn't hurt to read it, especially if you deal with anyone with any issues like OCD, ADHD, RAD, NPD, or any other disorder I haven't mentioned. But I bring this book up in order to refer to a section of it that speaks about another book that I haven't read.

I wanted to reference both books since I'll be quoting from Gravitz book while he is referring back to Campbell's book.

Gravitz starts by saying on page 106:
"The hero's journey always begins with the hero leaving home and separating from the powerful pull or trance of the family. Destiny is summoning us...If we refuse the call we remain stuck."

One of the evils of patriarchy is that it refuses to allow little girls to grow up and become heroes.
Little girls, because of their gender, must remain helpless maidens, always needing to be rescued by 'true' heroes, who are only 'true' in patriarchy because they are male. In addition, the only real hero that is allowed is their father. Instead of growing past the trance of the family, little girls become big girls, stuck in the muck and mire of family enmeshment.

More of Gravitz:
"In mythic terms, heroes and heroines enter the cave of their core issues and dispel the false truth of childhood, slay inner dragons, fight demons, find the treasure, or receive a blessing or gift."

Patriarchy does not allow little girls to grow up and deal with their core issues nor does it allow them to dispel the false truths of childhood. Patriarchy insists that the false truths it teaches its children concerning the roles of men and women are The Truth of the Everliving God. But they are wrong. And Patriarchy, by taking on this role, makes itself the dragon the little girls must slay in order to receive the blessing of God.

I like the word used in Gravitz quote, "dispel". It reminds me of Chandra's blog called, "Dispelled".

More from Gravitz:
"In the completion, heroes form a new relationship with truth, courage, love, and pain."

And later he says on page 107:
"The hero/heroine dares to love because he or she knows love is the ultimate and highest goal to which we can aspire. The hero/heroine knows each one of use was created to love and be loved. Daring to love is in itself an act of heroism."

I had read this book a few years ago and had to take my own journey. So when I read Sierra's post on the No Longer Qivering (linked and quoted two posts ago), it resonated with my heart and reminded me of the Hero's Journey and helped me articulate my feelings for these girls breaking the spell of Patriarchy in their own lives and then slaying the dragon of Patriarchy before the eyes of others still entranced by the spell.

These girls and women are heroes on a quest against a great force of evil that threatens to devour more and more innocent blood.


JaneDoeThreads said...

hi mara, my husband, eternal warden so he says, has succeeded in cutting me off from computer access, i am borrowing another today, anyway, i have ocd, so i am glad you posted this. i am now cut off from all, he is now talking about moving us to country, he has his delusion all mapped out of course with me his loyal dog following--he told me other day we would spend eternity forever--i'd rather be in hell than heaven with him

i am so sick of this prison, forced marriage, forced to love one i don't, i hate him for that, i now know this is why i so relate to the muslim sold bride, long story but well, that
s the gist of it, i survive living in fantasy world in my mind now-sad--please pray for me. he is orthodox jew you know, i hate their ways just as much, it is hell on women, the truth we don
t hear, where christianity got it
s women sex slavery from....mark my words on that one.

please dont publish this, its for you only, don
t know when i
ll be back online, using tiny borrowed computer now. love jane

Mara Reid said...

Lady Iane Grey.
I have been missing you.
Please know that I love you and want what's best for you.
I can say no more but am thinking of much more that I wish I could say.
Prayers and Peace in the One who loves us like no mortal man ever could.
Deliverance and Freedom in all things to you.
May it be so.