Friday, May 6, 2011

I Really Don't Hate Men

Just in case anyone was wondering. No, I don't hate men.

I'm sure it probably looked like it while I was dealing with three small minded men in high places. And truth be known, I don't even hate those men. They frustrate me. Their attitude towards women is so far the polar opposite of inspiring that they make me want to beat my head against the wall. But I don't hate them. I see that they are bound up by sin and woundedness and are so insecure they cannot be honest with themselves over that fact. They have to hide behind mistranslation of Biblical text and wrongly dividing the word of truth in order to protect the deep places of their heart against the 'evil feminine' that wants to suck their manhood down a black hole. The problem is, that black hole doesn't exist outside themselves. And it certainly doesn't exist within any woman. It exists within themselves. They just want to transfer the blame elsewhere. They just want to follow in the foot steps of the first Adam rather than in the footsteps of the second Adam, Jesus Christ.

My attitude toward such men is best summed up in the words of Buzz Lightyear that were quoted and linked to in the April 26th post: "You are a sad, strange, little man and you have my pity."

I'm sure insecure men who might stumble on my small men series would be convinced that I was abused and mistreated as a child and such.

But, in fact, the opposite was true.

The men in my life, my grandfathers, my father, my uncles, my brother, my male cousins... They were/are all strong, good, secure men. And the family I married into, my father-in-law, my brother-in-laws, my husband's uncles and cousins, They are all strong, good, secure men.

In fact I was so surrounded by them that I had a hard time understanding women who were not blessed this way. It took a long time for me to discern and gain empathy for women who had been used and abused by men. But I did get there.

And in gaining understanding of the wounded women of the world, as a Christian, I became concerned with the doctrine that perpetuates an imbalance between the sexes and protects abusers while blaming victims. The more I learned about this false and imbalanced doctrine and the men who push it, the more appalled I became.

But for me, it's not about hating men.

It's about standing against false gospel, a false religion parading around as the gospel, that favors men over women.

So, to balance out my little tirade against the three little men (who might or might not be considered male-chauvinist pigs) I plan to point out strong, secure men, either in my life or on the Internet plus at least one in fiction that more closely represent the true heart of Jesus toward women than anything that comes out of the mouth of Mark Driscoll.


Mara Reid said...

As a footnote,those who have followed me for a long time know that my spouse has been verbally abusive at times.

I attribute most of it to Adult ADHD, going to Promise Keepers and being told that he is the leader of our family and that he must take that authority whether I liked it or not, and reading "Wild At Heart" that made him begin to look upon the feminine as the enemy and gave him permission to blame 'her'.

I've seen this teaching against women hurt my own marriage. And these are from 'respectable' sources. Respected or not, their influence needs to be rejected because they are hurting, not helping.

Anonymous said...

It is amazing how strongly we feel that need to say that advocating equality is not hating men. Where does that urge come from?

Keep up the good work- I enjoyed reading your writing!

Hannah said...

It is amazing how strongly we feel that need to say that advocating equality is not hating men. Where does that urge come from?

I so agree! lol it reminds me of teachings on submission have to start with a preface of not being a doormat.