Monday, March 26, 2012

Sex, Drugs, and Mark Driscoll, pt 3

Rock and roll, by nature, is misogynistic. Anyone is free to disagree with me on this one but it is my overview observation of many years.

The rock and roll mentality or attitude has creeped in among Christians and is also misogynistic. I'll start by telling a true story.

I used to frequent another blog and the blog owner, we'll call him Fred (not his real name) was a Christian, religious-right kind of guy. He had just read Steven Tyler's biography. (Steven Tyler fans, just relax. My story is more about the blog reaction than Tyler himself.)

Steve Tyler, for those who don't know (which is about three of you, right? The rest have seen him on American Idol), is a Rock Star. He was/is part of the band, Aerosmith.

Apparently, according Fred, Tyler had a 14 year old girlfriend. He took over guardianship from her parents. This girl ended up pregnant and her parents determined that she was too young to carry, birth, and care for this baby so they took her in, against Tyler's wishes, and she had an abortion. This really upset Tyler and bothers him to this day.

Fred used this story to wax on concerning how horrible abortions were, and how horrible it is for fathers who have no rights concerning abortion, which, invariably led to how horrible feminists were and on a lesser level, how horrible modern American women were.

Fred and his male commenters felt so sorry for Tyler and the terrible pain he went through as a father with no rights over the child he sired. They blamed feminism, abortion, and Fred also blamed girls for being smitten with celebrity figures and her parents for not training her better.

Now, people, understand. I'm just as pro-life as your average conservative Christian (I no longer associate with the Religious Right. They are just plain crazy. But I am conservative in many ways.)
Anyway, I'm just as pro-life as the next conservative you might meet on the street. But I'm not stupid. That fourteen year old girl did not get pregnant because she or feminists are evil or because her parents did a thing of two wrong in parenting her.

That girl got pregnant because of the "Rock Star" mentality. If 30 something Joe Schmo down the street had started wooing the fourteen year old, you can bet the parents would have laid down the law. Why? Because there was nothing in it for them. It was the parents that were smitten by Tyler's Rock Star status. Otherwise why would they have ever signed over guardianship to him?

And what the heck was Tyler doing with a fourteen year old girlfriend, anyway? My guess is that she was a model and that's how they met. But that's my guess. Anyway, Fact: Tyler getting a fourteen year old pregnant was statutory rape. If Joe Schmo had done it, he most likely would have gone to jail and would be on the sex offenders list to this day. But not Steven Tyler. Why? Because he's a Rock Star, and Rock Stars can get away with things your average Joe cannot.

This leads me to a question.

Why were the men on that blog so unconcerned with the fact that Tyler had a 14 year old girlfriend yet were ready to tear down feminism and make comments concerning gullible girls and poor parenting? Why did it not bother them that Tyler could get away with something they, most likely, could not?

Well, I have one guess. I think it's because the male fantasy of being a Rock Star is alive and well in the world and the church. Those men on that blog might have said in passing that it was wrong for Tyler to have such a young girlfriend. In truth, the hideousness of the wrong of statutory rape was completely lost on them. All they could see was a man, a celebrity, facing losing his child because of unfair laws concerning the rights of father of the unborn. They couldn't see that Tyler was using his Rock Star status to get away with breaking the law and that the parents were using their daughter and Tyler's Rock Star status to make gains of their own.

Bringing this back to Driscoll, he also has gotten away with stuff the average Joe could not. This has not been a good thing for Driscoll or the people around him. Rock Stars getting away with stuff is not good for them. Tyler suffered greatly due to the consequences of his action. He lost a child over it and from what I gather, he still mourns over it. And as we are seeing, many people around Driscoll have also suffered greatly and many have mourned over Driscoll and the time they spent in his church.

It's time for the male fantasy of being a Rock Star Preacher to be recognized for what it is. Destructive, unchristian, and unbiblical.


The Blog bites better than the Bullet. said...

Thanks for saying this. I don't know of the story you refer to, but the moral of it as applied to the Driscoll situation rings very true.

I find him arrogant and appallingly condescending- with regard to his comments and teaching in the UK, where I grew up as an American MK, I am highly embarassed that he was "let loose" on people who will either see through him way better than the average American Christian (because no offense, but Europeans are trained to think, not simply to obey- another debate, another time- I appreciate your comments on the Christian Right in the USA btw- my sentiments exactly, and I too am Conservative, I digress...!), OR they will simply see him as a representative of typical American Christianity- sadly!

I'm just tired of good things (like church planting and community outreach for example)being ruined by bad behavior- we all have bad days, and I bet it's tough being at the top of something so big when you are so young- but that's why a touch of humility and respect for older leaders would go such a long way.

I tend to agree with some in the Uk who would say- we may not have big celebrity pastors who are young over here, but we do have faithful, mature Bible teachers who serve Christ, and that's what matters.

Lynne said...

That is a very sick story -- but it rings totally true -- that is the way a certain type of man thinks, and any attempt to rein back male privilege is seen as a wicked theft of their rights. Sometimes I feel like we haven't progressed any further than Adam's "the woman you gave me, it's all her fault"

Oh, and I've never heard of Steve Tyler. My excuse is that I'm not American

Mara Reid said...

TBbbttB, My husband loved his time in the UK as a missionary.

And I'm also embarrassed as heck over Driscoll's comments concerning the UK. The only thing I know to do is say as loud and as far reaching as I can... "Driscoll doesn't represent me!" and other similar things.

Celebrity preachers cause more problems than they solve.

And, Lynne, Steven Tyler is now one of the Judges on American Idol, so he's all over the media here. He's also the father of Liv Tyler of "The Lord of the Rings" fame.
The bright spot, to me, in his story is that, at least in him, there is a sensitivity and empathy for the unborn and a mourning of what had happened. I can only hope that that Rock Star learned from his mistakes, which is more than we can say for some others.

Thanks for your words of encouragement.

Gem said...

QUOTE: All they could see was a man, a celebrity, facing losing his child because of unfair laws concerning the rights of father of the unborn."- Mara

He was the GUARDIAN? Then he was the FATHER of the girl he raped. So those men you are talking about are overlooking and excusing incest! On a "christian" blog? God help us!!!!

BTW, I am among the three who never heard of him :)

And I think you might enjoy this article. I think its insightful regarding the origin of the seething rage and contempt toward women that is so obvious in some sectors.

Mara Reid said...

He wasn't a blood relative of the girl. She was his girlfriend, first. Then, I guess so she could live with him, her parents signed over guardianship to him. Which, to me, speaks volumes about the parents. I'm sure they got something out of the deal. So it wasn't incest. Stupidity, yes, incest, no. And most people wouldn't call it rape because it was consensual. BUT when it's with a minor, the legal term is statutory rape.

When I addressed the issue on that blog, I brought up my fourteen year old daughter in Jr. High and told them that she was learning how to perfect her softball pitch and basketball freethrows. She was NOT learning how to be arm candy for some rich, old guy.

I am definitely going to have to look up that link.


Gem said...

idk Mara, If a legal guardian of a child has sex with her, I think that might qualify as incest (regardless of blood relationship. "Guardianship" is supposed to be about PARENTING not impregnating)

But I'm no lawyer.

What would happen to a foster father if he was having sex with and impregnated one of the teenage children over whom he was given guardianship?

Now if the parents sold their child into sex slavery and lied calling it "guardianship" then perhaps they need to have legal consequences. But "guardianship" is supposed to provide PARENTING.

Anyway, don't want to distract from your point. It appears to be a sleezy business all the way around... The 14 yo is the victim of them all.

Mara Reid said...

No, you make a very good point. And it really doesn't take away from my point at all. It only adds to it.

Really. What WAS going on in that situation?

Those men on that blog had a huge blind spot. They couldn't see how disgusting the whole situation was because of, a.) Rock Star Male Fantasy, and b.) Their obsession with the idea that poor men are having their rights taken away by mean, nasty feminists left and right. This was the perception, world view, or whatever you want to call it, that they saw through.
It was such a huge blind spot that the blog host thought it was a good example of how men have no rights OVER their unborn child all the while completely missing the fact that this man was having sex WITH a child, one he was a guardian of, at that. Your point only adds to how foolish and gullible these men were.

In this case it's the men who were being gullible and taken in by wrong thinking. In this case it was the men who were thinking with their emotions rather than reasoning out what is right and just.

My biggest point is that the teaching that, women are more gullible, is wrong. Men can be and ARE just as gullible. And by men teaching each other that women are the more gullible sex, they kick the legs out from under their Help Meets, the ones God has called to help them and it leaves them vulnerable to sin and gross misjudgment.

Gem said...

Amen! So true, Mara!

On a related tangent, you need to go listen to the very refreshing interview here starting in minute 26. So wise!

"Janet talks to David Kupelian about his article The Church of Sex" That article is here:

Mara Reid said...

Just getting back to this, Charis, I've listened to the interview and it was very good.
I still need to get back to Kupelian's article and give it a better read.

wisdomchaser said...

Here is a link to the other side of the story. This is a much messier and complicated story. Since she claims to have been saved and is involved in abortion recovery ministry I'm more inclined to listen to her side.

Mara Reid said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you very much for this. I haven't read it all the way through but already see that my info that Julia was 14 at the time was wrong. She was 16. Still too young. But not as young as I was led to believe.

Yes, there was a lot more going on than what those guys concerned for father's rights had any idea of.

I need to read this again more thoroughly and may link it in a new post.

Very interesting.