Worshiping the Idol of Family

Hi, I'm a wife and mother of four. I love being a mother. My children are the delight of my life and they keep me going like nothing else can.

However...

I know that there is far more to me than being a wife and mother. And, those extra little things that make me 'me', that make me an even better mom, including those things that are not deemed 'feminine' enough for patriarchal groups headed by the likes of Voddie Baucham, Doug Wilson, John Piper, or Mark Driscoll.

As much as I love my family and the idea of family and community, I understand that an inordinate affection for things, raising those things to the level of godhood, is wrong, approaching idolatrous.

This is what many groups are doing with family and manhood and womanhood and parenting.
The Wartburg Watch has an excellent piece concerning "Family Integrated Churches" that can be referred back to in order to see just how big and far reaching these ideas are and see the library of reading that is available to push their well-meaning yet somewhat-off version of the gospel:

Household of Faith Fellowship of Churches - An Overview

Complementarianism is Convoluted

It is convoluted, confusing, and contradicts itself.
It leaves the purity and simplicity of the Gospel far behind as it gallops ahead to regions of legalism and slavery.

The book that is supposed to make it all clear, "Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood" doesn't help, but makes things worse.

Rachel Held Evans talks about it a bit here:

Complementarianism Hierarchy Outside Home

Corruption of Translations

If there was one thing that I wish the guys at my church understood about the Bible, it would be this.

That even though the Bible, in it's original form, is the Word of God, there is just about no translation that doesn't have the fingerprints of the translators on it somewhere.
I see it in the ESV and the NLT.
It is also in the KJV. Here is what Geraldine has to say about that:
Bible Verses Corrupted by Misogynists

An Old Article from Christianity Today

I'll link it here for those who have not seen it yet.
I like this author's approach and brief history of the men's movement.
Jesus for Real Men

Results of Driscoll's Conquest

The Kingdom of Heaven suffers violence and violent men take it by force. (taken from Matthew 11:12)

I've wanted to use this phrase in reference to Mark Driscoll for a long time but have not had a real good opportunity.

Well, the perfect opportunity has come up.
Wenatchee the Hatchet has a piece about Driscoll and everyone he has run over and thrown away in his conquest of the Kingdom of Heaven.

some context for "a call for reconciliation", "there's a pile of dead bodies behind the Mars Hill bus"

May Mark Driscoll realize someday, hopefully sooner rather than later for his own sake, that those who live by the sword, die by the sword.

Driscoll's Bitter Waters Spewed out by Amy

Men like Driscoll have no clue how they have muddied the waters for women with their teachings. They have no idea that they have taken the sweet Living Water that Jesus gives us and turned it into bitter waters. These bitter waters need to be thrown out, rejected, spit out of women's mouths because they are toxic.

For those who haven't read this yet, here is Amy's story:
EXORCISM AT MARS HILL: One Woman's Story
This story shows the blatant disregard that Driscoll has for the hearts of women

Now a blast from the past.
I mention this disregard that Driscoll has for the hearts of women back in 2009. I noticed it in his teaching on the Song of Solomon.

Here's a quote from my July 30, 2009 blog post:

"Because SOS is not JUST about the male pov. Neither is it about the female pov that men approve of and want to see (more on this in a later post). It is also about the wounded female heart that many men don't want to see and gloss over as though such a thing doesn't exist. Or if it does, it is somehow the woman's own fault and she just needs to shape up, all the while serving the man with a sweet disposition.

"Yes, I've heard messages from preachers about bitter women. I've heard the rebukes and criticisms, and blaming that these senseless preachers freely pour out on already wounded hearts. I've heard about the merciless shaming of pastor's wives who "let themselves go". What do these men know about a woman's heart? Nothing.

"They know nothing because they do not care. The heart of a woman is of little value to them. They care about the outward rather than the inward. If the outward is not seemly enough, then let the ridicule fly. If the outward attitude is not sweet, then run her off and call her Jezebel since she is of no use to the man and not worth the trouble.

"Thank God, He knows everything about women. Thank God, He cares deeply about every wound. Thank God, He sees past the sometimes prickly self-defenses of a wounded woman and seeks after her heart. He poured Himself out generously to heal and comfort every woman cursed and spoken against by self-righteous preachers, supposed brothers, false shepherds who attack the ewes to garner favor with the rams."

Here's where I said this:
Manipulating Scripture for Personal Benefit

Quote Concerning Ancient Hebrew Culture

Someone on one of the forums I frequent brought this quote to our attention.
I wanted to share it here:

All modern day translations of the Bible are written from a very westernized perspective and have erased the original Hebraic, Eastern, perspective of the original words in the text. Once the Hebraicness of the text is restored, a common theme can be found throughout the Bible rising to the surface - our nomadic migration through the wilderness of life. 

The quote can be found in this article:

Introduction to Ancient Hebrew culture

A lot of what I see that is wrong with teachings from Driscoll and Piper and a miriade of other teachers is how narrow minded and small thinking they are. The arrogance of the Western mind that thinks all others think the way it does is overwhelming and frustrating.

True thinkers who can think beyond the tiny worlds they live in are more likely to think bigger and touch more of Who our Eternal God is.

Seattle Slavery Pushing

Okay, before I get into the meat of this I want to apologize to Nick Bulbeck and all others for any trouble they have on commenting on my blog. I could switch over to Wordpress, but unfortunately I'm a creature of habit and convenience due to the hectic nature of my off-line life.
I also apologize to Nick if the title above is too inflammatory and takes his observations a bit too far. In debating Driscollites (those who defend Driscoll) I have learned that they like inflammatory. That's why they like Driscoll. And in fact, they cannot even hear you if you do not speak as boldly and blatantly as their Idol. If you speak in a more gracious tone, they just think you are a ________ (insert degrading term in reference to the feminine that means you are not masculine enough for them to take seriously)

Anyone who has visited here very often knows that I have issues with a certain famous preacher in Seattle. Yes, I know that none of us are perfect and that none of us have full comprehension of all Truth. But the combination of perversion, popularity, and hypocrisy from Washington holds a special place of "WTH???!!!" [What The Heck, not Wenatchee the Hatchet ;) ] in my world. The Seattle Spin, that song and dance that confuses us and keeps us in a perpetual state of "WTH?!", is better understood, dissected and debunked from different perspectives.

Speaking of WTH (Wenatchee the Hatchet, this time) and different perspectives, I had a wonderful guess series by him concerning Driscoll and his teaching on the Song of Solomon back in October. WTH comes at Driscoll's SoS series from a unique perspective and clarity that I appreciate. Anyone who missed it will find the first installment here:
WTH on Driscoll's SoS, Intro and part 1

Well, through WTH I have become acquainted with Nick Bulbeck who has been quoted here twice and is about to be quoted a third time. Nick also comes at the Driscoll Spin Machine from a different perspective, one that I'm learning to appreciate more and more. Here is his most recent comment under "A Surprise Comment Made My Day":

"The frustration we share at the neo-calvinists, or whatever one cares to label them, may stem from something that runs very deep in us. Consider the truth that has become labelled as "Penal Substitutionary Atonement", or "PSA". Behind the academic label are some astounding implications: God almighty emptied himself, became as nothing, and faced death at the hands of his enemies in order to make them his sons and daughters. There's an old English hymn, My Song is Love Unknown, that puts it thus:
"... a murderer they save,
The Prince of Life they slay;
Yet, cheerful, He to suffering goes,
That He His foes from thence might free."

"If my understanding of this jaw-dropping truth moves me to worship; if it opens my mouth, but leaves me silent because I can't escape the realisation that I cannot possibly describe what I've just seen... then and only then have I truly understood it.

"But... if my adherence to "PSA" moves me to self-righteousness and pride, and I use it as an empty shibboleth to prove I'm more doctrinally sound than the next person, then I've understood nothing, but am deceived and blind. My "good doctrine" is, to paraphrase Proverbs 11:22, just a gold ring in a pig's snout.

"Proverbs 19:10 talks about a slave ruling over princes. The Seattle-based preacher under discussion here teaches legalism, rules, and justification by doctrine; that's slavery, but he has managed to get himself into a position of very high influence and authority. If he were just an immature high-school jock sounding off in the corner of a church somewhere because he'd only just become a believer and didn't know any better, that would be one thing. But it isn't so. He is judging and lecturing wiser believers - men and women - from whom he should be humbly learning. A slave ruling over princes; and it is not fitting."


I love Nick's the reference to Proverbs 19:10 in particular. That along with meditations in Galatians is a good defense against the slavery that Mark Driscoll pushes. Nick's input and perspective helps me to understand better, why I'm so distraught over what Driscoll teaches. Driscoll waves a carrot of "freedom" in front of young men, giving them permission to drink, cuss, get tattoos, and have limitless, pornographic sex with their wives, then clamps down on them with his real agenda motivated by his own need for popularity and worldly success.
Thanks, Nick, for sharing your thoughts. I feel I have a better grip on what is going on when we compare notes like this.

The Spiritual Abuse Survivors Network

Thanks to Joe at I.C. for the heads up on this one.

The Spiritual Abuse Survivors Network

Scottish Calvinist Takes a Swipe at NeoPatriarchs...

... who dare to call themselves Reformed. This Scottish Calvinist has a bone to pick with them. He (or she) doesn't appreciate these New Calvinists and Neo Patriarchs sullying the word "Reformed" with their aberrant doctrines. So listen up, you New (kids on the block) Calvinists (iow -- wet behind the ears and too immature to know how ignorant you really are concerning reformed doctrine midgets), this Scottish dude (or dudette) from the UK has a thing or two to teach you. And you better listen because he (or she) has more wisdom in one little post than anything and everything any one of you have ever written on the topic.

in the community

Top Ten FBWTS posts of all time.

These ten posts have received the most hits ever in the short history of this blog.

# 1 Dear Grace Driscoll...


# 2 Is it Grace Driscoll's Blog or Affair?


# 3 The New Calvinist and Neo Patriarch on Divorce


# 4 Mars Hill Calls for Reconciliation. Whatever.


# 5 Have You Heard the One about Deborah


# 6 The "Keep Sweet" Conspiracy


# 7 Mark Driscoll Is in Trouble Now


# 8 Doug Wilson is a Misogynist


# 9 Sex, Drugs, and Mark Driscoll, pt 1


# 10 Stolen Hearts and Stolen Voices




Some of these had help to get to the top ten by being linked by others, like The New Calvinist and Neo Patriarch on Divorce and The Keep Sweet Conspiracy. But both the posts on Grace Driscoll got there on their own and it doesn't bother me in the least that my # 1 post was actually a guest post. I like it when someone else can  express what I wish I could but can't or comes at a situation from a particularly enlightened and/or gracious point of view.

The Hostile Takeover of the SBC

I got in trouble teaching adult Sunday School one day last year.

I go to a conservative, loving and gracious, Spirit-filled, country church. The father-in-law of the pastor used to be a Southern Baptist preacher. And he remembers the SBC (Southern Baptist Convention) of the good old days. I mentioned, in passing, the trouble that the SBC is going through. He was right there to defend his old SBC.

But what he was defending was the SBC that he knew, that noble institution that was actually worth a rip before the Fundamentalist Takeover, before Paige Patterson and others like him got their fleshly mitts onto the reigns of power.

My friend Hannah, of Emotional Abuse and Your Faith (in my blog list) linked a book over at Egalitarian Christian Alliance (in my link junction).
Hannah had this to say:

"My Uncle was a missionary for the SBC, and all my cousins were born in different countries.  He retired and returned to the states about the time all this junk started.

"I remember him telling us that if he was starting over now - he would have found a new church to work with.  He was appalled at all of it.  

"I knew how loyal he was, and it shocked me to hear about it.  We were not SBC, so where a bit removed at that point.  My parents grew up Southern Baptist, but once Dad got transferred to the north?  lol I remember the church telling us do NOT go to those 'northern' baptists!"

Here is the link to the book:
The Fundamentalist Takeover in the Southern Baptist Convention

I'm thinking of sending the link to my pastor's father-in-law. What do you think?

Freedom and Equality Seminar

Food for thought for those considering Egalitarianism.

Freedom and Equality Seminar