Closing Out Phase One of SOS

Song of Songs 3:5 Sustain me with raisin cakes, Refresh me with apples, Because I am lovesick.
vs 6 Let his left hand be under my head and his right hand embrace me.
vs 7 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, By the gazelles or by the hinds of the field, That you will not arouse or awaken my love, Until she pleases.

These three verses together close out the first distinct phase of SOS. Part of verse 5 & verse 7 are repeated elsewhere to close out the third stage. All of verse 6 is repeated elsewhere and All of verse 8 is repeated to close out other phases.

I don't have much to say over verse 5.

Verse 6 is the one others have tried to sexualize, but looking up the words in the original Hebrew, embrace really only means embrace. It is a cry out for intimacy. And other than that I don't have much to say over it except for it's importance in SOS in helping to make distinctions between the phases.


Verse 7, however, is pretty loaded. I mentioned the gazelles already and will go over their significance in a later post when I get started on phase two.

The last part of the verse has been preached on by many as a warning against waking up the sexual side of a person before they are able to do anything about it in marriage. And I believe that is a completely legitimate message from preachers and parents alike to young people at any time.


However, I'm seeing more than just that in the verse. Since it appears in SOS a total of three times, and since the beloved has two dreams between these urgings of not being awakened before her time, AND lastly in chapter eight, the lover, himself, awakens her, then there may be more to the verse than what initially meets the eye.

SOS 8:5b … Beneath the apple tree I awakened you; There your mother was in labor with you, There she was in labor and gave you birth.

Was it not time to wake up in chapter one or two? Apparently not. Apparently the time for being fully awake is in chapter 8 When the Lover does it Himself. So what is going on in chapter one and even in chapter two, later when the Lover begins telling the Beloved to arise and come along?
Well, let’s think about it.
First of all, my Bible has a footnote saying that the last three words may actually be "until it pleases" rather than "until she pleases". This may not mean a thing. But it makes me wonder.
There seems to be no rush in waking up either the Beloved or love in general. What could this mean? At the very least the Lover is expressing, one way or another, that he is in no hurry. He feels no need to pressure. He is satisfied to go at her pace rather than his own. He’s satisfied for the Beloved or their love, in general, to flow naturally. He feels no need to force, coerce, or otherwise manipulate her into anything until she is good and ready to wake up to that area of love on her own, when SHE pleases.

Also, allegorically, it goes along with the idea of God being patient with us as we grow in love and learn to understand it. When we first give our hearts to the Lord, we love Him with all we have, which isn’t much. But HE receives it and loves us back. As we grow in understanding of His love for us we are able to love Him more and more.

Romans 13:11 And do this knowing the time, that it is already the hour for you to awaken from sleep: for now (our) salvation is nearer to us that when we first believed.
Ephesians 5:14 For this reason it [He] says. "Awake, sleeper, And arise from the dead, And Christ will shine on you."

When we come to the Lord, we come as babes. Babies know very little. Though they are aware, their awareness is limited. They can only take in so much, but they are learning all the time. Just as we grow physically and emotionally, so also we grow spiritually. We go through changes when we leave babyhood and enter childhood, when we leave childhood through the road of adolescence and enter adulthood. These kinds of changes also occur spiritually. We awaken to new levels, new phases all throughout our spiritual development. And these phases should not be rushed.

Song of Ascents (intro and explanation)

What is a Song of Ascents?
Well, it seems to be a poetry form used by the Hebrews around the time of David and Solomon.

My dictionary says that an ascent is 1. the act of ascending, rising, or climbing. 2. an advancement, as in rank, fame, etc. 3. a.) a way leading up; upward slope; acclivity b.) the amount of such slope [an ascent of 3 degrees].

My Holman Master Study Bible's [HMSB] encyclopedia says that "A Song of Ascent" is "a phrase occurring in the title of fifteen Psalms, 120-134, inclusive, They may be so called from a certain rhythm which is obvious in several of them, by which the sense apparently by degrees or steps, the first or last words of a preceding clause being often repeated at the beginning of the succeeding one."

So a song of ascents is a song of steps or degrees.
A good example of what my HMSB encyclopedia said is in Psalm 121. It is very strong, almost from verse to verse.

Psalm 121:1 I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; From whence shall my help come?
vs 2 My help comes form the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.
vs 3 He will not allow your foot slip; He who keeps you will not slumber,
vs 4 Behold, He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
vs 5 The Lord is your keeper; The Lord is your shade on your right hand.
[and so on]

What does this have to do with the Song of Solomon (SOS)? Well, I'll tell you. SOS can be divided into very distinct stages or phases. The first two are 1.) SOS 1:1-2:7 and 2.) SOS 2:8-3:5
Both these sections end with the same verse

SOS2:7 & SOS 3:3 I adjure you, oh daughters of Jerusalem, By the gazelles or by the hinds of the field that you will not arouse or awaken my love Until she pleases.

I had already noted that these two sections existed and ended with the same verse. I also noted that the second section was the next 'phase' that the bride was going through. But what I didn't notice until the other day was that the first couple of verses of the second section does this little 'song of ascent' thing in that it uses a word from the last verse of the first section.

SOS 2:9a My beloved is like a gazelle or young stag.

I already understood that SOS is a definit progression, a definit maturing and empowering process that the beloved goes through as she grows from being an oppressed maiden to being Proverbs 31 Woman material. Looking for a word or phrase to call this progression, the phrase, "A Song of Ascents" came to my mind. I though that there was a psalm called that somewhere so I looked it up and learned about this form of Hebrew poetry. And this has confirmed to me that the Song of Solomon is indeed a Song of Ascents, loosely in a poetic form, strongly in the progress the beloved makes from chapter one to chapter eight.

I have more to say about SOS being a Song of Ascent but feel the need to close out section one (1:1-2:7) before we discuss the strong upward call in section two (2:8-3:5)

Boundaries, part III

All this talk about boundaries was leading up to something, as I have warned you.
I wanted to point out that it is no small thing to move a boundary mark where real estate is concerned. It is also no small matter to transgress people's personal boundaries, men, women, or children.
Just as this is true for property and person, so also is it true for scripture.
I am saddened by the fact that a boundary marker has been moved in the Bible book, Song of Solomon (SOS). But I wrongly accused a Major Shock Jock (MSJ) of doing so. Now I know it was moved before, and he just read a book, or two, or several on SOS that led him to believe that SOS is not chronological. I am saddened to say that I also read one of those books. It is called, The Act of Marriage.

http://www.amazon.com/Act-Marriage-Tim-LaHaye/dp/0310212006

I read this book long ago. My husband and I were given this book when we were married. And I thought it was a decent book back then. And for the most part, I'm okay with it now. Except for one thing.
In my opinion, they have moved a boundary marker. It is subtle and for noble reasons. Even so, the moving of this marker is what has opened the door for others to do some serious trampling of scripture in my strong opinion.
The LaHayes wanted to use SOS 2:6 for a euphemism for something sexual. I do not know if it originated with them or with someone else. But regardless, they knew they could not use it for something sexual if the book was written chronological because the couple are not even married until chapter three. Thus, it was declared, 'not chronological'.
Just as I heard MSJ flippantly declare it, with no support, so others make the same claim and find, more secret 'euphemisms' for sex.

Those following this blog know I've brought this up before with a little bit of evidence as to why I strongly disagree with the 'not chronological' take on SOS. I'm bringing it up again for two reasons. One, I'm acknowledging that MSJ didn't come up with this himself. He read others who said it first. He liked what they said and now teaches it as fact.

The second reason I brought this up again is because I want to show more evidence that SOS is, in fact, chronological. That though there may be euphemisms for sex in it, they do not occur before the middle of chapter three.

I will present this evidence later. For now I just want to say, I understand what the LaHayes were trying to do. But what they have accomplished is to move an ancient boundary marker, thus sowing to the wind. Now the body of Christ is reaping the whirlwind with renegade preachers ordering wives to perform certain things in the bedroom that were, at one time, against our nation's sodomy laws.

[I blogged on this June 27, 2009, A Lil' More on SOS 2:3 for those who missed it]

Boundaries, part II

In this post we will look specifically at scriptures about boundaries and find out what God had to say about it.
First a couple in Deuteronomy. Note, these verses were spoken and written before the children of Israel entered the promise land to possess it. God was making sure ahead of time that these people understood the importance of respecting physical, property boundaries.

Deuteronomy 19:14 You shall not move your neighbor's boundary mark, which the ancestors have set, in your inheritance which you shall inherit in the land that the LORD your God give you to possess.
Deuteronomy 27:17 'Cursed is he who moves his neighbors boundary mark.' and all the people shall say, 'Amen'

Then later in the book of wisdom boundaries are brought up again.

Proverbs 23:10 Do not move the ancient boundary, or go into the fields of the fatherless; vs 11 For their Redeemer is strong; He will plead their case against you.

When I read Proverbs 23:10, I cannot help but think about the girls I had in my cottage at the residential treatment facility. If God was concerned about the physical property of the fatherless, how much more is He concerned over their physical body, or their hearts and emotions. And yes, I considered my girls fatherless. They had no fathers to protect them from abuse. And in some cases, it WAS their fathers that abused them, which meant that their fathers were not fathers at all.

Hosea 5:10 The princes of Judah have become like those who move a boundary; On them I will pour out my wrath like water.

Again, God points out that He is judge and that He takes boundaries very seriously.

Proverbs 15:25 The Lord will tear down the house of the proud, But He will establish the boundary of the widow.

God is the ultimate establisher of boundaries for people and also nature.

Job 38:8 Or who enclosed the sea with doors, when, bursting forth, it went out from the womb; vs 9 When I made a cloud its garment, And thick darkness its swaddling band, vs 10 And I placed boundaries on it, And I set a bolt and doors. vs 11 And I said, 'Thus far you shall come, but no farther; And here shall you proud waves stop.'?

And when you think about it. That is what the Ten Commandments are all about even though the word 'boundary' never occurs in them. The top Ten Establish boundaries that protect people. Stealing is a definite boundary violation. Adultery violates the boundaries of marriage. And of course, the ultimate boundary and trampling over another individual it murder.
So boundaries of the weak and helpless are important to God. He established boundaries for people to follow, and also for all His creation to follow.
And He takes a dim view of those who ignore boundaries or think they don't apply to them.
He curses them and pours out His judgement upon them. And He fights for those who are weak and cannot defend their own boundaries.

Boundaries, part I

I can't remember if I've talked about boundaries here before. I know I have else where, had discussions and what not with other bloggers over boundaries. I'd like to talk about boundaries as it pertains to something I see in Song of Solomon (SOS) but feel I need to lay some ground work. Thus, this short series on boundaries.

And don't worry, I'll not go over the books written on boundaries by two Christian men. Most of the people who come here most likely have already read them. But in case someone comes along here's a link to their amazon listing.

http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/0310247454

You don't have to read any of these books to understand what I'm going to write about. But it wouldn't hurt to read them for the sake of the rest of your life.

Okay, enough about that.

For those who don't know, I worked, for a time, in a residential treatment facility for troubled youth. The 'cottage' I worked in had 9 girls (ages 13-17), 7 of which had been prostitutes at one time including the youngest.

One thing I learned was that most of these girls had boundary issues resulting from the fact that those who should have been caring for them growing up did not respect their boundaries. Many, if not all, of these girls had been sexually molested or raped by family members, mother's boyfriends, their own friends or boyfriends. In other words, their personal boundaries had been trampled on by people who didn't know enough or care enough to respect their boundaries.

So one of the things that our treatment facility was trying to train them was how to recognize and respect their own boundaries and the boundaries of others. When someone came too far into their personal space, some of them would put up a hand and say, "Boundaries!" and the others knew what she meant. Sometimes it was a joke, like playing around. Sometimes they didn't take it seriously. But at least someone somewhere was trying to teach them how to protect their own boundaries.

Viewing this in that treatment facility and then reading the Cloud and Townsend books really opened my eyes to what boundaries are and how so many in this world don't respect them, at all.
And this disrespect for boundaries is also present within the church.

October Update #2

Been meditating on a certain section of scripture outside of SOS and wanted to mention it here.


Those interested in my further musings on SOS need not worry. I've not dropped it. I'll get back to it. Things are stirring in my heart again in that area but I have to have time to look up scriptures concerning it. Plus, also, this meditation does actually touch on my understanding of SOS.


But the scripture that's rolling around within me now, I don't need to look up.
I can quote it from memory.
It comes from John Chapter one the first five verses.


In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God.
He was in the beginning with God.
All things came into being by Him and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being.
In Him was Life. And the Life was the Light of men.
And the Light shines in the darkness. And the darkness did not comprehend (or overcome) it.


I memorized this one while still young in the Lord. It has been a source of strength and comfort.


Notice in the last line that I have parenthesis that contain the word overcome. I put that there because that is what the footnote in my Bible says could be used in the place of comprehend. When I was young, the idea of Light overcoming darkness was a more powerful, needed, and even a romantic or heroic thought than the fact that darkness could not comprehend Light.


But lately, I have seen how deep and foundational the truth of darkness not getting/understanding/comprehending the Light. The longer I walk this earth, the more I see people who think they have the Light, walking around in darkness and not really understanding what the true Light is.

As an example, think of the Old South and slavery. Slave owners used to use the Bible to support their practice of slavery. Since their were laws in the Old Testament and Advice given to masters and slaves in the New Testament, this was good enough for plantation owners to continue in this barbaric practice.

But I like the words of Abraham Lincoln. (borrowed from Molly's AIM blog. Thanks Molly!): "Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally. "

Our 16th president had a better grasp on Light than the plantation owners. He understood 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you.'
The plantation owners were only interested in the parts of the Bible that they could use to maintain their privileged life style on the backs and sweat of others.

There is another example of a man being completely blinded by the darkness of this world and the darkness of his own mind. Yet he held up certain Bible verses as proof of his privilege and used them to lord it over another. This example can be found in my May 21, 2009 post, "The Big Picture". I'd link it here but for some reason my attempts to link to my own posts never succeed. But it's in my archives.

A friend of mine told me about something her young son said to her one day. He turned to her and said, "Mom, I'm five now. I know everything."
We laughed at this. But really, this boy demonstrated what happens to some Christians when they think they have 'arrived' at some spiritual pinnacle. They think they have a firm handle on truth and Light. But they don't. They don't know that they have some knowledge and knowledge puffs up. It's all around us.

There was a man in our history around the time of the revolution, wish I could remember who he was. Any way, he was a lawyer or a judge or something and a Christian. But people always saw him scribbling on paper. And since he was such a knowledgeable and wise man, people believed he was scribbling down great amounts of wisdom.
One person braved a chance and looking at this man's notes and was shocked to find that all he had written was, "More light, Lord. More light."

This historical figure had it figured out that we live in a dark world and needed light. He didn't make the mistake of looking around and deciding that what he saw and what he thought was Light. He knew better than that. He knew that God's ways are higher than our ways and God's thoughts are higher than ours.

Too many men, preachers included, think that the darkness bumping around in their own heads is not darkness, but light. They err in their thinking and believe it is the truth and even use the Bible to back it up. But they miss the Light altogether. They miss it because they do not comprehend it.

I like how Ezekiel responded to God when God presented him the Valley of Dry Bones. God asked him if those bones could live again. Ezekiel knew better than to say yes or no. He said to God, "Thou knowest" because he knew he had no clue himself.

God invites use to come and reason with Him. Though our sins are like scarlet, He can make them white as snow. Though we live in a world of darkness and are steeped in dark thoughts, He can call us out into the Light. If we humble ourselves and stop thinking we have some sort of corner on the truth market, then He can send His Light to overcome the darkness.
But if we insist on living in the darkness, and calling it light. Our darkness will not comprehend true Light when It shines in the lives of others.

Update

It's been over a month since my last post and I thought I better update people.

It's true I've hit a snag with this blog personally. But I'm sure I'll get through it and post more on this topic soon.


But, as with all of us, we go through busy times and busier times. And I'm going through one of those busier times. But it's good.


I'm teaching a junior high Sunday School class in my church and I love it. I like how our church does it. They divide up the year in quarters and have different teachers every quarter so no one gets burned out. The core group of kids in the jr. high class are an absolute delight and I love preparing lessons for them and teaching them and watching them grow.

This year I've had the privilege of putting together my own curriculum for them based on Dick Eastman's book, The Hour That Changes the World. It's a classic. Even though it's an adult book, my kids are pretty sharp and are able to follow along.



http://www.amazon.com/Hour-That-Changes-World/dp/0801033373



I highly recommend this book for anyone interest in prayer. It covers eleven types of prayer, all mentioned in the Bible. Many of these types of prayer, however, are unknown to the average Christian and not utilized by the Church to their full extent.

Eastman does an excellent job explaining these prayers, using both scriptures and the words of Christians from all ages.

Even if the structure he sets up for prayer time is not to your liking, his teachings on these different types of prayers are a must have for anyone taking prayer seriously.

Okay, enough from me.

If anyone out there is still reading, I'd like to hear about books on prayer that you like. And, in fact, you don't have to limit it to that. If some book you have read recently has really helped you, opened a door for you, made God more real, or something along those lines, I'd like to hear about it. Thanks so much.

Revisiting SOS 2:3 in Context

Well, were back at Song of Solomon (SOS) 2:3.

SOS 2:3 Like an apple tree among the trees to the forest, So is my beloved among the young men (sons). In his shade I took great delight and sat down, And his fruit was sweet to my taste.

I don't want to spend a lot of time on it but want to point out a few more things I overlooked in my initial shocked reaction to some off-balanced teaching on it.

The Main Shock Jock (MSJ), when he approached this verse in the cleaned up version of his series got a real smug and self-satisfied look on his face and said something to the affect of, "This shulimite was very bold and had no inhibitions..." wink, wink, nod, nod. And he implied that this verse SOS 2:3 was all about her performing oral sex (OS) on Solomon.

Well, if MSJ would have actually read SOS from chapter one, verse one and saw the actual point of view (pov) of the maiden from the very beginning, he might not have presumed to decided for her what her pov was. Then again, MSJ displays that he can only view SOS through the clouded lens of his man's man, with a man-sized sexual appetite pov.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, when you take SOS as a whole, you begin to see that this is the story of a pretty, but wounded and insecure young lady and the process she goes through to grow and become a strong capable woman, like the Proverbs 31 woman. She is not the bold, brazen sex kitten MSJ wants to paint her out to be in SOS 2:3. She gets bold later as I pointed out in my previous post. But here at the beginning of Chapter two, she is no where near the bold, no inhibitions woman MSJ wants women to be in the bed room.

MSJ is projecting upon her what he wants, and it is just another case of "Guys!!! It's NOT all about YOU and what YOU want and how YOU want your wife to cater to YOU. It's not about how you want your 'fruit' to be sweet to her taste. YOU don't define her fruit. She does. SOS 2:3 are the words of the female, not the male. Please actually hear what she is saying in the context of the whole and stop pulling out bits and pieces and hearing what you want her to say. SOS 2:3 is not about you and what you want. It's about the female and how HER needs have been met by the male, the Lover of her soul."

As mentioned before, she refers to herself as dark and oppressed. And even a couple verses previously, she again looks at herself and thinks she is nothing special. And here MSJ paints her out to be aggressive like the girls in the porn magazines. He paints her the way he wants her to be rather than paying attention to what the words actually say.

Even the verse after SOS 2:3 shows the context to support the pov of a young lady appreciating food and shelter, both real and symbolic. As in real food in a banquet hall and the refreshing food of loving interaction. As in the physical shelter of a house and the shelter of love and protection.

SOS 2:4 He has brought me to his banquet hall (house of wine) And his banner over me is love.

SOS 2:4 supports and repeats SOS 2:3. It's not about what the Beloved is giving to the Lover in the way of sexual favors. It is about what the Lover has given, is giving, and continues to give the Beloved. Again, MSJ has it backwards. A verse from the Beloved's pov talking about what she has received has been turning into a verse about what she gives, that is, what some men pressure their women to give to them. (Note: Some women do like OS. That's between them and their partner. But more often you hear the stories of men pressuring women into this behavior that many women find to be distasteful. Pun intended. Dear men, don't make the mistake of thinking SOS 2:3 is God giving you permission to pressure your wife into ANYTHING. If you think this, you completely and totally fail in your understanding of SOS. You are too immature and self-centered to have the right to even read this book let alone teach on it.)

Just because men think receiving OS from a woman is sweet (the male pov), this doesn't give them the right to define sweet for the woman. Let the woman have her own pov and stop projecting what you want onto her. Projecting your own needs onto another is a sign of immaturity. And when you manipulate the Bible to project your needs onto another, and use that to push your agenda onto another, you rush in to where angels fear to tread.

The Beloved Relapses Into Insecurity (SOS2:1)

SOS 2:1 I am the rose of Sharon (crocus), The lily of the valleys.

It is said that the rose of Sharon was a common flower that carpeted the fields during the rainy season. Here, it appears that the Beloved says that she is just one of many. And when the Lover showered her with his gifts and blessings, she bloomed as any common flower would. She was nothing special. She has a bit of a relapse into looking at herself and seeing herself in an inferior light.

But the Lover assures her that she is special to Him

SOS 2:2 Like a lily among thorns, so is my darling among the maidens (daughters).

She is not the self-assured bride with no inhibitions that MSJ wants to portray in the next verse. She still has a long way to go before she becomes the bold woman who says in SOS 8:1 ..."If I found you outdoors, I would kiss you; No one would despise me either". Boldness comes to her. But much later, after a considerable time receiving love, gifts and healing from her Lover. We see a hint of her blossoming confidence in chapter three. We see more of it in chapter five. But by chapter eight it is full blown boldness.

In fact, if you take SOS as a whole, you can see the progression of the abused, knocked down young lady into healing, wholeness and boldness. In chapter one, she is not Proverbs 31 woman material yet. She comes through a full healing before she is ready for that.

People who don't take SOS as a whole, but who cherry pick verses and put their spin on them don't recognized the chronological progression and make the mistake of flippantly saying that SOS is in not chronological. I understand that people can read the book several times and not see this. But knowing and seeing the chronology of it, myself, makes me want to cry out to the cherry pickers, "Have you ever actually read the book? All the way through? From start to finish? Or are you just leapfrogging from one 'good bit' to another?"

So, in chapter two, the first verse she shows her insecurity and need for reassurance. A need that the Lover adoringly bestows on her in verse two.

This inspires her in verse three and four to again praise him for what he has done for her so far.

Closing Out SOS Chapter One

SOS 1:15 How beautiful you are, my darling, How beautiful you are! Your eyes are like doves. vs 16 How handsome you are, my beloved, and so pleasant! Indeed our couch is luxuriant! vs 17 The beams of our houses are cedars, Our rafters, cypresses.

SOS 1:15-17 close out chapter one with the Lover and Beloved expressing admiration for one another.

In addition the Beloved seems astonished at how pleasant the Lover is. Is it because her brothers were not pleasant? Was it because they were angry and harsh with her and demanding? Does this pleasant behavior from the Lover surprise her? Was she beginning to think that all men were harsh and demanding? Did she feel that if her own brothers, those of her own blood were harsh, then surely a prince would be as bad or worse because of his exalted position?

He was not harsh. He did not send her out into the scorching sun to do his bidding. He did not send her out to labor in his field. He welcomed her into the chambers of his own home and had her recline at his table and eat his food. No wonder she thought the couch luxuriant. No wonder she loved the beams and rafters of his house that sheltered from the harsh sun and the harsh treatment of her own family. She loved the food and shelter of his home, food and shelter that he shared with her freely.

She felt more at home with him than in her own home.

On an allegorical note. Some women live with pretty harsh men. (and I know it also goes the other way, but I'm talking to women who can think outside the box and don't mind the allegorical side to SOS. ;)) Sometimes women come to false conclusion that God views them the way the men in their lives view them. It is a blessed change when a woman realizes that God loves her soul just as much as He loves a man's. And God loves her in ways the men in her life cannot even touch. God has the fruit of the Spirit working in Him toward her, love, patience, kindness, gentleness, peace, goodness, (etc) even as the men around her are impatient, judgemental, sarcastic, harsh, and unkind.

Also in the spirit of I Corinthians 13 she finds out that God is patient, God is kind and is not envious. He doesn't brag and is not arrogant. He does not act unbecomingly and doesn't always seek His own way. He's not provoked nor does He take into account a wrong suffered. He does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. He bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. God's love never fails.

God's love is a far cry from the love of men who are arrogant, brag, seek their own way, are easily provoked, and take into account every wrong suffered.

P.S. Men who are tired of the harsh nature of the people (men and women) around them can also bask in the wondrous knowledge of a God who loves as I described above. Looking at the allegorical nature of SOS isn't as disgusting as MSJ tries to paint it out to be. It has real emotional and spiritual benefits for both genders.

The Trouble With Boxes

There is a book out called, "Men are Like Waffles -- Women Are Like Spaghetti".
Here is a quote from the little blurb you can find on Amazon:

"Bill and Pam Farrel explain why a man is like a waffle (each element of his life is in a separate box), why a woman is life spaghetti (everything in her life touches everything else), and what these differences mean."

I read the book a few years back and remember that the authors said that when men are in one box, they can really only think of the things that pertain to that box. If it is something that doesn't pertain to that box (in their mind), then they more or less have to mentally exit the box they are in and move over to the box that contains what the thing you ask them to think about.

Well, this is what I see going on with certain preachers and their messages on Song of Solomon (SOS). They say, SOS is about marriage and sex and that's all. It can't possibly be about anything else. They CANNOT see outside the box. And just because they can't see outside the box they decide that nothing exists outside that box pertaining to SOS.

The Main Shock Jock (MSJ) preacher, Mark Dricsoll, makes this mistake. It is reported that he said if SOS is allegorical then Jesus does (I can't even mention what he says but it is sexual and highly inappropriate) to him.

What I actually heard on part two of his series was mockery and derision for anyone who thought SOS could be allegorical. He brought up the most ridiculous allegorical applications of SOS in the history of man, held them up to be laughed at, then smacked that argument down as proof positive that all allegorical applications were just as laughable and needing to be squelched.

So, here I am. A person that tried to avoid SOS as I mentioned in my January 25th, 2009 post before I ever hear of Mark Driscoll.

But God was persistent to encourage me to go there. When I gave in and obeyed, then He opened it up to me in ways I never saw before. I knew, before I got into it that many thought of it as an explicit book. And even once into it, my dear husband did reaped some benefit from my meditations.

But then, I'm a woman. I'm not like a waffle, according to the book I mentioned above. I'm like spaghetti. Every part of my life touches every other part of my life. I can think outside the box because I'm not trapped in one.

And this, my friends, may be one of the ways women were created to help men. To see outside their little waffle cubicle thinking. To see the forest that all these trees add up to.

As I mentioned before. It doesn't bother me that people use SOS to teach about sex and marriage. SOS is big enough for both that and an allegorical view. My beef is not really with preachers who preach on the sexual aspects. My beef is with the small-mindedness of some preachers who cannot think outside the box. The all encompassing box that sex can become if you don't spend enough time outside that box. And not only do they remain trapped in their little boxes, they insult, mock, ridicule and otherwise put down all others who aren't sucked up and consumed by the sex box as well.

You older people remember those gizmos they used to sell on TV.
You know. "It slices, it dices, it makes julianne fries."

Well, it is as though the SOS=SEX crowd says SOS can slice, but can't dice and sure as heck can't make julianne fries.

You've heard the saying, "There's more than one way to skin a cat."
Well, the Mark Driscoll SOS=SEX crowd says. "No, there is only one way to skin a cat, the right way, my way, which also happens to be God's way."

You remember the old westerns where the gunslinger comes into town, gets off his horse and trudges toward the other gunslinger, spurs a clinkin' "This town ain't big enough fer the both of us..."

Well the MSJ and his clones says, "SOS ain't big enough for both our views, so I'm gonna verbally shoot yours all to pieces."

This is what Mark Driscoll does when he ridicules any other view but his own.
And that is the trouble with burly, verbal gunslingers hunkered down in little boxes.

Manipulating Scripture For Personal Benefit

The below verses are attributed to the Beloved.

SOS 1:12 While the king was at his table, My perfume gave forth its fragrance. vs 13 My beloved is to me a pouch of myrrh Which lies all night between my breasts. vs 14 My beloved it to me a cluster of henna blossoms in the vineyards of Engedi.

Verse 12 is pretty self explanatory. Except I wonder if her perfume was among the gifts that the Lover has given her.

Verse 13 we have gone over. Not surprisingly, the Main Shock Jock (MSJ), Mark Driscoll, made reference to how a man finds comfort between the breasts of a woman. I'm not arguing that this bit of information about men liking women's breasts is not true. But I am saying, point blank, that is not what this specific verse is about. There is a verse in the Bible that is better suited at expressing that bit of info about men than SOS 1:13.

Proverbs 5:18 Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth. vs 19 As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated (intoxicated) always with her love.

In SOS 1:13, rather, it is the Beloved who is referring to her own breasts and referring to her Lover as being like a pouch of myrrh she keeps near her heart. But we've been over that in my June 30th post and I don't care to belabor that point.

Now, as for verse 14...

SOS 1:14 My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms In the vineyards of Engedi.


Sigh. The first mistake Driscoll makes here is not rightly defining the word Engedi. He said it was a desert region.

Well, I hate to nitpick, but Driscoll bases his entire teaching of verse 14 on Engedi BEING a desert. He goes into how a wife is supposed to be an oasis for her husband in this dried-out-desert-existence they call a life.

To begin with, my Holman Master Study Bible's (HMSB) encyclopedia states that the literal meaning of Engedi is "fountain of a kid" and that the Engedi is "a fertile region of the W. shore of the Dead Sea, named from a warm spring which still issues out of the cliff at this point: called also Hazazon-tamar (division or row of palm trees)."

So he gets the part about Engedi wrong which points out blaringly that he does not have the heart of a teacher. As an aside to this, I've heard others say that Driscoll would make an excellent evangelist because he gets people saved. I heard someone else say that once people are saved in his ministry that they should move onto somewhere else to receive teaching because he "ignores sound Biblical exegesis". Not even sure I know what exegesis is. But I do know a true teacher of the word who actually has the God-given heart of a teacher would not make such a mistake and then base a whole teaching on it. A mistake in passing is one thing. Misdirecting an entire teaching because of not looking deep enough to make sure the basic facts are straight is something all together different.

Back to SOS 1:14.

Just for sake of argument, let's say my Bible's encyclopedia is wrong and that Engedi really IS a desert. What MSJ says about the marriage bedroom being an oasis in a desert really isn't a bad teaching. Even the part about men working hard to support their families and that they need for their wives to be a cluster of henna blossoms when they come home. It's very sweet, really. A good picture. Problem is, as I mentioned in my last post, he takes verse 14, the words and feelings of the female, steals them from her and hands them over to the male... Then later throws her a crumb and says something about the bedroom needing to be an oasis for both after he'd gone on and on about the man's needs.

Now I can see one thing. How many men want to look at themselves as henna blossoms? That is not a view of themselves that most men want to think about. But the Beloved also refers to him as myrrh which is also a plant. Is there something about henna that is good for a woman, a part of it that is specifically and exclusively for a woman as opposed to men?

My MHSB encyclopedia has this to say about henna. It "is a tall shrub of much beauty and fragrance, native of Egypt and far eastern countries. Women in the Oriental countries used a yellowish-red dye made of its powdered leaves for coloring their fingernails and toenails, and sometimes the soles of their feet."

Well, what do you know? The henna plant is used for beautifying. This thought does not go against the teaching that God beautifies us. Remember Ezekiel 16?

Vs 13 Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your dress was of fine linen, silk, and embroidered cloth. You ate fine flour, honey, and oil; so you were exceedingly beautiful and advanced to royalty. Vs 14 Then your fame went forth among the nations on account of your beauty, for it was perfect because of My splendor which I bestowed on you," declares the Lord, God.

Nor does it go against Ephesians 5:25-29:
Vs 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; vs 26 that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, vs 27 that He might present to Himself the Church in all her glory having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless. vs 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; vs 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church.
Nor does it go against the context of Chapter One of SOS. It is the Beloved who's life is a desert. She is the one forced to work out in the heat of the sun by angry brothers. It is the Beloved who was sun burnt and perhaps blistered. If she had been left out there in the sun and not brought into the palace, she probably would have prematurely wrinkled.

Solomon grew up in the palace. He could sit on a purple cushion while servants fanned him with peacock feathers and fed him grapes one at a time. His life was no desert. He was rich and had everything to give and little to gain except the pleasure of being able to give to the sun burnt little Shulimite brought in from the vineyards.


(Side note. Notice that the way Solomon in SOS and God in Ezekiel beautify their brides is not by rebuking, shaming, or otherwise putting them down or in their places. They beautified them by giving and giving and giving some more. I only bring it up because I have seen men take Ephesians 5:26 as an open invitation by God for an open season on their wives and pick at them to try to "sanctify" them. Jesus sanctified us, first by dieing on the cross. Then by giving and giving and giving some more.)

So we see in verse 13 that the Lover is a healing balm and in verse 14 that He is beautifying to the Beloved. But Driscoll stole away the female's expression of feelings and needs and how the Lover meets them and handed it over to the male. This is the work of a thief, or at the very least, a preacher who thinks it's all about him and the male point of view.

No wonder men don't want to look at this book too closely. It is a hard message for a man to take. No wonder some want to just focus on the "good bits" and skim over the rest of it. It's a tall order being the Lover of this story. You have to be rich, be very giving, and stop being so self-centered. What earthly man can fill this order? Not many.

These first couple of chapters of SOS are about a prince who decides to pour out all his best on an oppressed maiden. Turning this book exclusively into a marriage manual all about how husbands and wives should treat each other confuses the text. Sure, good things can be gleaned from it for marriage even for today. But if that's all it is about, then these preachers need to see ALL of what SOS is saying and apply all the parts properly, giving the female her parts and the male his and stop mixing them up and changing them around to better suit the male point of view (pov).


Why? Because SOS is not JUST about the male pov. Neither is it about the female pov that men approve of and want to see (more on this in a later post). It is also about the wounded female heart that many men don't want to see and gloss over as though such a thing doesn't exist. Or if a woman's heart really is wounded, it is somehow the woman's own fault and she just needs to shape up, all the while serving the man with a sweet disposition.

Yes, I've heard messages from preachers about bitter women. I've heard the rebukes and criticisms, and blaming that these senseless preachers freely pour out on already wounded hearts. I've heard about the merciless shaming of pastor's wives who "let themselves go". What do these men know about a woman's heart? Nothing.

They know nothing because they do not care. The heart of a woman is of little value to them. They care about the outward rather than the inward. If the outward is not seemly enough, then let the ridicule fly. If the outward attitude is not sweet, then run her off and call her Jezebel since she is of no use to the man and not worth his trouble.

Thank God, He knows everything about women. Thank God, He cares deeply about every wound. Thank God, He sees past the sometimes prickly self-defenses of a wounded woman and seeks after her heart. He poured Himself out generously to heal and comfort every woman cursed and spoken against by self-righteous preachers, supposed brothers, false shepherds who attack the ewes to garner favor with the rams.

God heals and comforts without adding shame. He is the LORD our Healer. He is the LORD our Provider. And you can find those aspects of God in SOS.