Mars Hill and Consumerism (NPD)

In this post we are looking at Episodes 4 and 5 of Christianity Today's Podcast on "The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill" and it's relationship to Mark Driscoll's Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) symptoms.

Episode 4  is  "I Am Jack's Raging Bile Duct". We reference to this one in the post below.  This episode takes on Driscoll's teaching on masculinity.

And Episode 5 is "The Things We Do to Women" which is almost like Episode 4b to me. It is concerning Mark's teaching on womanhood and sex. Episodes 4 & 5 go hand in hand when talking about the toxic teaching on marriage and sex at Mars Hill..

And I do want to address how this relates to Consumerism. But first I must link to a Youtube video from a trauma informed counselor, Kyle Howard, who reflects on the connection between 4 & 5 and the bad theology presented at Mars Hill concerning gender and sex.

Thanks to Ava Aaronson and her comment at The Wartburg Watch that has alerted me to the video. Hers is the third comment down on Why Do People Attend Mark Driscoll's Church. She lists several points brought up by the linked Youtube video above. And her list is better than anything I can put together after watching only the video once.

Now, onto Consumerism.

I've heard Mark preach to men about the need to stop being consumers and to start being producers. I wish I could find a good link to an example, but I haven't been able to. Episode 4 talks about this without using the word "consumer". Mark defines masculinity as being a producer. That is, getting a job, marrying and supporting a wife, having children, supporting the church. This, according to the podcast, was what some men needed.

But, in Episode 5, concerning his teaching about women, he basically commands women to be consumed sexually and hierarchal-ly by men.

In other words, while commanding men to be producers, he enables men to be sexual consumers of their wives by teaching a rape and porn culture version of Scripture. The term "rape culture" is mentioned once in Episode 5. But Kyle Howard goes into more detail about how truly wicked and abusive the teaching at Mars Hill was.

Furthermore, Kyle Howard goes on to point out that Driscoll, through twisting scripture, commands women, in the name of God/Jesus to be porn slaves, always available, and making every part of their bodies available to be consumed by their husbands no matter how they feel spiritually, emotionally, or physically.

Writing that last sentence reminds me of some of the angry rants I made on this blog back in the day when I was speaking out against Driscoll and his false use of scripture. It reminds me of all the times I complained about him misusing the Bible to make wives submit to every whim of their husbands. Deja vu anyone else?

Anyway, I prefer Kyle's term "grooming". This is what abusers do. Also, Abusers don't just groom victims for their own personal use. They can groom victims to be used by other predatory consumers. Kyle gives several examples of this in his video.

So, in the end, I find it both ironic and the height of hypocrisy than Driscoll instructs men to not be consumers while instructing them to be sexual consumers of their wives.

You know what else is ironic and the height of hypocrisy? Driscoll is the biggest consumer of them all. As a Narcissist, he is in need of a continual Narcissistic Supply. He feeds on his inflated image of himself, the accolades given to him by those he manipulates, and the self-righteous rage he unleashes on the unsuspecting from time to time.

Relating it back to my marriage to a Narcissist, I remember how needy and demanding my ex was in so many areas. He was never satisfied, no matter how hard I tried to please him. Eventually I came to see him as a needy bottomless pit. In the end he basically used me up.

And do you know what Narcissists do when you are no longer able to give them Narcissistic Supply? They discard you like an empty wrapper.

Or, in the case of Driscoll, he runs you over with the infamous Mars Hill Bus

Driscoll's Damaging Teaching.

Here is a link to Wendy's blog piece on Driscoll's damaging teachings on sex and marriage.

Harmful Teaching of Wives as Their Husband's Porn Stars.

C.S.Lewis and the Dangers of Pornograpy

I was searching Wade Burleson's blog for a different reason and bumped into this:

"Imaginary women are always accessible, always subservient, [give] no call for sacrifice or adjustment, and can be endowed with erotic and psychological attractions which no real woman can rival. Among these shadow brides, the viewer is always adored, always the perfect lover; no demand is made on his unselfishness, no mortification ever made on his vanity.  In the end imaginary women become the medium through which he increasingly adores himself. The main work of life is to come out of ourselves, out of the little dark prison of selfishness we are born in, to know God in the center of our being and from that place to offer ourselves for the sake of others. All things are to be avoided which retard this process. The danger of pornography is of coming to love the prison of self."
 ~ C.S. Lewis


Link to original post: Lewis & Porn

Former Porn Star Speaks Out.

Don't go here if talk of porn offends you.

But do go here if you are under the delusion that porn is glamorous and that the girls in the pictures and videos are actually enjoying what it going on.

The truth about porn with Tamra Toryn.

Real Plagiarism in "Real Marriage"?

Speaking of "Real Porn" er... I mean "Real Marriage"...

It appears that portions of what Grace wrote were actually from another book that is not given credit.

The portions under question have nothing to do with the porn in other sections but is actual helpful info for the wounded soul. At least they were helpful to Grace.

Because those portions are helpful and because I'm so concerned about the wounded heart, part of me is glad to see evidence of her receiving healing some how from somewhere.

But, as WTH points out, plagiarism it plagiarism and I'm disappointed that the actual helpful parts of this book fall under this category.

Real Marriage Chapter 7, Part 2: Comparing Grace Driscoll's writing to Don Adler's writing from the Wounded Heart

Looks like Don Adler's "Wounded Heart" might be a good read. Like I said, I have a great concern for the inner healing of all the members of the Body of Christ.

What Is Traumatizing a Generation?

I'm sure many of you have seen this around.

I have seen it linked, but it was in places I couldn't link to until now.

So since EE has done the hard work, I'll just link to her post.

Oh, yeah.
What is traumatizing a generation?
Porn, my friend.
As bad as it is in the church with pushers like Mark Driscoll around (co-author of Real Porn  er... I mean Real Marriage), it truly is worse in other places.

Pornography Is Sexually Traumatizing an Entire Generation

Hating People Out Loud

You know, I usually don't doubt whether a person is an actual Christian or not. Like, say, Mark Driscoll. This man upsets me. Often. But I still believe that he loves Jesus. I don't question his salvation.

Recently I've come across a couple links by men who, straight up, hate women and aren't afraid to show it.

WARNING: Don't go to those links if they will trigger you.

I only link them as proof that a person can be this deceived and actually believe that they are okay with God and that God agrees with their misogyny and hatred.

It's reading things like this (which I don't do often and for good reason) that makes me really wonder if a person has actually given their hearts to Jesus. Because, you see, there is nothing in what they say that represents the Jesus spoken of in the Gospels. It seems that the only thing the Christian Religion is to them is a means by which to add emphasis to their practice of hating people out loud.

You might think that what these men say would enrage me. It really doesn't. Not because shocked and angry aren't appropriate responses. No, rather, I'm concerned for their very souls that are at war within them. I'm concerned about the deception that causes them to rage in the darkness. I'm concerned about the brokenness and deep bitterness in their hearts that requires that they find a scapegoat (women) to rail against. It makes me sad for them to see the depths to which they have fallen. If they actually do make it into heaven, I don't think that they would be comfortable there.

Again, follow these links only if you can go there without their words getting under your skin. And if you do follow them, keep in mind that these men heap judgement upon themselves because, by the measure they judge others, they, themselves, will be judged. May they escape the pit that they have fallen into and find true freedom in the God they falsely represent.

The Truth is Hate to Those Who Hate the Truth

Hey Lady Shut Up!

(Edited to add: I realize that the subject matter of this post is extremely toxic and promotes hate, bitterness, and spiritual death. I hope to post something more uplifting soon. Just bear with me as I learn to glance at the deep and severe bitterness of broken and wounded men without feeding into it or returning curses upon those who spew out curses. It's a step we all have to take at one time or another. Some of us are ready for it. Others are not and must heal some more before they can deal with it.)

Edited again to state that the link, "A Woman's Place" was someone's colorful interpretation of what a certain hateful preacher said and not what an actual Christian said. So I removed it and replaced it with another link. Thanks for the heads up from Retha and the confirmation from Anne.

Also, I put this in the comment section to Retha, but decide to go ahead and put it here so people can link it directly. The blog itself is a good, though now inactive, blog. But what it talks about and some of the comments display this hatred and misogyny we see by those who profess to be Christian.

The Porn Factor and it's Relation to the Treatment of Women