Modesty Doctrine and Men

I've linked Sierra before and she's another one that I should just have in my blog roll. Or perhaps I should get busy with that link page I've mumbled about before.

Any way, before I get to the link, reading her post reminded me of another conversation I had with my son.

We were at the orientation for his college and some young Muslim girl made some sort of sign toward him that seemed positive and could have been a flirt. Neither of us were sure.

At least we think she was Muslim since she was dark complected and had her head covered with a scarf. On our way home from the orientation we were talking about it and it came up, why do (some) Muslim women cover their heads.

While I knew that I didn't have all the answers nor was I trying to say that this particular girl covered her head for this reason, the conversation did go in the direction of the modesty thing. So I mentioned where, in some places women are covered from head to toe, including face, because they are more or less held responsible for the sexual sins in men.

My son didn't like this. So I mentioned that in some countries women are even held responsible and punished for their own rapes.

The flash of fury in my son's eyes was one of the most rewarding things I saw that day. He could see the injustice of such things and was, in fact, incredulous that such attitudes towards women existed anywhere. It's in moments like these that I know that, as a parent, I'm not a total failure.

Anyway, enough about me and my son. Here's the link to Sierra's blog post:

http://nonprophetmessage.wordpress.com/2012/02/11/how-the-modesty-doctrine-hurts-men-too/#more-689
(It appears this link is broken. Sorry. It was pretty good.)

Off Topic, My Son part 2

My three most popular posts are in this order: "The Wounded Healer" written December 6, 2010, "Sin in the Camp" written June 6, 2010, and "Off Topic, My Son" Written September 13, 2010.

And in honor of the next series I'm going to write on strong, secure men, I'd like to revisit the young man that I'm proud of.

My boys like to watch zombie movies. They are kind of zombie experts. And sometimes my son likes to share those movies with me. I'm not so crazy about them. But for mother son time, I will sit down and watch one of the milder ones, or one with an actual plot that is somewhat intriguing, that my son thinks I can handle since I hate slasher, gory movies.

Well, we watched 28 Weeks Later, the sequel to 28 Days Later. And no, I'm NOT recommending it. I kind of wished I hadn't watched it.
But funny thing, in the opening scene my son warned me that there is a guy who was a real, uhm, well, I'll use his words... douche. Turns out this guy abandons his wife rather than going back to save her, which most certainly would have lead to his own death or infection to the rage virus.

When I saw the scene, I came at it from a cold, objective, body count position and said that there was little point in him going back because she would be dead or infected before he got back to her and then he'd be dead too.

He looked at me funny and said, "Of all the people I've talked to, you're the only one who hasn't agreed 100% that he was a total douche."

I laughed, because all the people he talks to about these movies are Christian, guys his age, and maybe a few girls. He and his friends have a good, strong idea of what real men are in spite of the dire warnings given by the pushers of male hierarchy. My son's growth, person hood, and yes, even his manhood, is progressing beautifully. He knows right from wrong. He understands sacrifice for family, women, and children (there was a child involved in the movie as well, though not their child, long story.).

So I praised my son on his attitude of love and self-sacrifice and I took heart in the fact that the young, Christian, American male is not in danger of losing his manhood as much as the noisy gong preachers keep saying.

So the next few posts on strong, secure, Christian men will be dedicated to him and my brother in honor of the fact that I'm proud of them and consider them both my brothers in Christ because neither of them promote a jock strap religion.

Off Topic, My Son

I'm not done dealing with Ephesians 5 and related topics. And hope to get back to them.
Also, we've had computer trouble and been real busy around both my home and my work so I haven't been able to keep up with much around here.

But I want to stop for a moment and appreciate my son.

He didn't start off so good.
As a boy, he had difficulty relating to his world and managed to get into more trouble than his brother and sisters.
He was the one I worried about the most, afraid he'd end up in jail, or who knows what.

But whatever troubled him when he was younger, he has, for the most part, overcome.
At the age of 19, he still has a bit of a temper and can get very impatient from time to time.

But I love talking to him.
He's deep thinker.
I talk to him about God and the Bible probably more than with my other children.

We had one such conversation last night.
He asks good questions, like, "How can we know who is right about God? Everyone believes that they are right."
And yes, my son has given his heart to Jesus in the past, on more than one occasion.

Yet, this bunch of Christians claim one thing, and that bunch of Christians claim something else. Who is right? He wants to know.

Awesome questions.

My standard answer, one that he's accustomed to is that, I, being female, have a unique perspective. I can see through much of "man made" religion. And I hold up the Muslim 40 virgins waiting in heaven as a blatantly male-centered fantasy. I haven't had a chance to point out how the reincarnation religions say that women have to be reincarnated as men before they can go onto the next step. We never get that far.

And last night, he pointed out to me the male-favoring teachings of the Bible.
To which I could confidently speak to.

I pointed out that Jesus never set up a male/female hierarchy while He walked on the earth. I also pointed out that His allowing Mary to sit at His feet an learn along with the men defied the culture He lived in.
Then I pointed out how the writers of the epistles never set up a hierarchy either. They spoke to the hierarchies that already existed. But they never told men to lead their wives. All they were interested in was trying to help people already in these structures to live as Christ-like as possible in the culture they were subject to.

This made all the sense in the world to my son.
And he said so, plainly. He really appreciated this being pointed out to him because he really does want to believe in Jesus and the God of the Bible. But some of these unfair teachings, like women can't be ordained, really bother him. They are a real stumbling block to him.

Our conversation was brought to an abrupt end by something neither of us could control.
But I can't wait for the opportunity to point out Junia and Phoebe to him at a later time, the Lord permitting.

He's the kind of young man that I don't want to push. When he's ready for information, he comes to me. And when he's ready, they he can receive what I have to say. If he's pushed, he resists.

But I'm very proud of him for his sense of fairness and justice towards women and his need for his God (and yes he believes in God and Jesus incarnate) to be fair and just to all.