The Patriarchs' Second Lie to Women

The first lie of the patriarchs is that patriarchy is the prescribed biblical way of doing families. This simply is not true. Jesus actually spoke against it. I pointed this out back in 2011 with the post I Heard It Said Once in which I gave scriptural proof that Jesus did not support patriarchy as the biblical model.

The second lie of patriarchy is that patriarchy protects women and children.

One of my top ten posts links to the story of Doug Phillips, formerly respected patriarch and patriarchy pusher. Katie Botkin's post In Which Lourdes Petitions for a Lifeboat, points out that Doug Phillips was the founder of something called The Christian Men and Boys Titanic Society. This society would commemorate the sinking of the Titanic every year "praising the patriarchal Christian men who sacrificed their lives in favor of putting “women and children first."

But as was seen Phillips was far more concerned with the perks of being a patriarch than any protection it was suppose to offer. He liked having the perk of a live-in nanny that he could sexually abuse rather than protect. When the story broke concerning this nanny he abused, he and his wife were ready to throw the nanny under the bus, or shall we say, push her out of the lifeboat so they could get in it.

This was over a year ago.

Now we have another patriarch who has proven that patriarchs are, indeed, not concerned for women and children, but rather are concerned with themselves, their positions, and their reputations.
Doug Wilson married a gullible young lady to a known pedophile. When it turned out that this pedophile abuse a son born from this marriage Wilson expressed concern for his own reputation and the pedophile. No mention of any concern for either the mother or child is expressed in his response to the criticism he has incurred for promoting and blessing the marriage.

Sarah Korchinski has created a lovely Maury Lie Detector meme that I what to share concerning the second lie of patriarchy.

So, no, Virginia. Not only is Patriarchy not biblical, it also does not protect women and children. It makes them vulnerable to the abuse of patriarchs, mere men who want to be worshiped as gods in their homes and churches.

Patriarchy vs The Croods

I don't do movie reviews very often. For one thing, I can't keep up with the movies I want to see, let alone any others. So I'm not on the cutting edge here at all. In fact, this movie is a year old.

The Croods came out in 2013. I took a couple of my kids to see it. Then it was released on Netflix and I watched it two more times, the last time being Monday night the 21st of April, 2014. I have not grown tired of this flick yet and would watch it again with someone who has never seen it. The zany humor and pro-family theme combination make it one of my favorites of this decade.

Sadly, many Christians won't go see it because it is based on a family of cave people living in a prehistoric era. Many Christians are so concerned with their Young Earth Creation view that they will miss the symbolism in this movie.

Seriously, how many teenage daughters, hitting puberty, have looked upon their families as positively stone age. Conversely, how many fathers dealing with their daughters' puberty have wondered what happened to that little girl they loved. Those poor fathers can't figure out where this emotional/dramatic monstrosity evolved from.

Perhaps the reason this movie has captured my heart is that I watched it back during a time when my church was showing the "Courageous" movie put out by Doug Phillip's Vision Forum group. I didn't see Courageous myself, but did view the purity ring scene from it. You can find that scene at Spiritual Sounding Board:Who Owns a Daughter's Heart.

Contrasting the restrictive, controlling, push of patriarchy over their daughters with the struggles of the father/daughter relationship as portrayed in The Croods brought me to actual tears. And I don't cry much. Just ask my kids. They call me robot mom. I don't display a lot of emotion.

It brought me to tears for two reasons. The first reason for those tears was a deep anger and frustration over how Patriarchy is botching up families with their control and fear tactics.

But the second reason was because The Croods dealt with the subject matter of overprotective fathers and frustrated daughters with more charm and grace than anything the Patriarchy crowd has ever come up with.

Let's get into the review part.

As mentioned before, there is a character conflict between father Grug and daughter Eep. Grug wants to keep his family safe. They are the only family left in the area, since the other families were all taken out by various prehistoric dangers. And as Eep says, Grug has been able to keep them safe because he is strong. That, and they hide in a cave most of the time.

Eep can't stand the cave and wants to explore. But everything is dangerous and their family motto is: "Never not be afraid!"

Then enters the character 'Guy' who tells Eep that the world is ending, changing, and that the only way to escape it is to follow the sun. But Eep knows she can't leave her family and the safety of the cave.

However, the ground shakes, the cave is destroyed and the Croods are forced to venture into dangerous territory that is all the more dangerous because it is unfamiliar.

Along the way Eep meets up with Guy again and he joins their small group (whether he likes it or not) because they need his fire. Somehow, Guy convinces them all that they need to follow the sun. The presence of Guy adds tension due to his new ways of thinking that Grug sees as bad.  But it's his new ways that help them survive their trek Westward.

I was in a conversation over on Thatmom's blog with a gal by the name of Avelinn concerning the draw of the Patriarchy on the Evangelical movement. We came to the conclusion that the reason it was so enticing is because we are in a time of changing and it's scary. Patriarchy promises to keep our children safe, like Grug's devotion to the cave and rules kept the Croods safe for so long. But as we have seen, Patriarchy can't keep our children safe. And in fact, Patriarchs, like Doug Phillips, are dangerous wolves in sheep's clothing the prey on children. I had considered writing on The Croods and contrasting it to Patriarchy. Our conversation has convinced me to carry it out.

Because the conclusion of The Croods is far more satisfying than the conclusions the modern day Patriarchs have. The Patriarch's conclusion involve scandal, like Phillips, Mahaney, and Gothard.

Without giving too much away, we learn that it wasn't just Grug's strength that was able to save his family. It was also the power of Grug's love for his family that saved them in the end.

If you haven't figured it out, yet. I highly recommend The Croods if you are looking for family entertainment that actually builds up families rather than tears them down.

It is available on Netflix and DVD.

Katie Botkin on Phillips

Here's a good blog post by the niece of Patriarch Geoffrey Botkin. She brings up a pretty good point concerning Doug Phillips, his doctrine, and his sin against Lourdes. (hint: it has something to do with the Titanic):

In which Lourdes petitions for a lifeboat.

The Sins of Patriarchy

Patriarchy has a very dark and putrid underbelly.

The smiling faces of the model families featured in magazines and on websites are used to hide the sins of the 'patriarchs'. But the sins are there taking advantage of the very women and girls they claim to protect.

Doug Phillips, a chief patriarch and patriarchy pusher, used his position and his doctrine to sexually abuse a young lady for years in both her home and his.

Now she is filing a lawsuit against him for lying to her and using and abusing her sexually.

Pastor accused of 'using nanny as a sex object'

I hope this sends a message loud and clear to all the self-serving, self-important, and entitlement-assuming patriarchs out there. The false doctrine of patriarchy that you worship and serve is being exposed. It will not save you on your day of reckoning.

Stealthy Attacks on Womanhood

Or perhaps a better way of saying it is... Greeks bearing gifts attacks... or Trojan horse attacks.

Because this is what American Evangelicals subject themselves when they embrace the little-by-little infiltration of groups like Vision Forum and men like Doug Wilson.

When American Evangelicals embrace VF, ATI, or Doug Wilson, they are receiving that which will destroy them and their credibility.

Thanks to A Woman's Freedom in Christ for the heads up on the comment I'm about to link. The comment highlights how overbearingly oppressive and unchristian groups like VF really are. So many are sweeping Doug Phillips indiscretions and resignation under the rug when they should be examining more closely the doctrine of his group that hands out oppression to women and children while setting men up as Lords and Kings in their home. There doctrine allows men to arbitrarily make life miserable or bearable according to their mode, personality, and disposition. And this doctrine forces women and children to stay in situations that are abusive and not fit for animals.

Here is the comment of someone who has studied these groups.

Bee Keeper's Study of Patriarchy

We must stand against both the brazen attacks of Doug Wilson and Tim Challies on womenhood and the sneaky movement coming from those trying to make Vision Forum more mainstream.