The Downward Spiral to a Wife Spanking Cult

 There's a lot going on in the Twitterverse, or X.

Doug Wilson is in a negative spotlight, again. No surprise.

But, anyway as I'm watching this unfold, I came across a link to these two Podcasts from a woman who escaped from a wife spanking/domestic discipline cult. I am listening to Part 1.

Shiny Happy Wife: Tia Levings on Christian Fundamentalism (Part 1)

Shiny Happy Wife: Tia Levings on Christian Fundamentalism (Part 2)

I'm leaving this here so I can refer back to these.

Also, this Podcast channel has a lot of other cool things to look at and I'll be able to get back there through this post.

A Little Bit Culty.

I hope Doug Wilson is exposed for what he is. He's awful and Evangelicals need to stop taking him seriously.

Is Respect a 'Foreign' Concept?

Actually, I would have liked the title of this one to be:

"Is Respect Really a 'Foreign' Concept to Christian Wives? I Think Not."

But that was rather long.

Yeah, I know. It looks like "Pick on David" month over at ye old bitter to sweet blog. I don't mean to pick on him. I'm just kind of incredulous as to some of the things he said over on Wendy's blog the other day.

I actually have sympathy for David. I totally get that his wife was disrespectful from the things he says. I don't like seeing wives being disrespectful to their husbands. I don't like eye rolling and argumentativeness in women and when they engage in it toward their husbands in it makes the wives look bad, if their husbands aren't being unreasonable. If the husbands are being unreasonable, then the wife doesn't look so bad, but I still don't like the way it looks. She could get so much further with him if she used a bit of graciousness.

But some of the things David says makes me realize that he is unaware of what is going on in some/many sectors of Christianity.

Here are some quotes from David over at Wendy's.

In his first comment:
" The negative comments here indicate how foreign that concept is to wives. This is not entirely their fault; the church has dropped the ball on this since forever. Until I heard a Focus on the Family interview with Eggerichs after his book came out, I had never heard any pastor or teacher make that point  "

and

"this post, and Eggerichs' book, are spot-on for the overwhelming majority of husbands." [talking about how many husbands are not getting the respect they deserve in their own homes.]

In a follow up comment:
"My point was that Eggerichs' discussion of unconditional respect for husbands is (generally) a foreign concept to Christian wives (and Christian husbands too), while everyone is quite familiar with the concept of unconditional love for wives, even though they are both taught in the same passage. We can quibble about whether the negative comments here are further proof of that disparity, but it doesn't change my point. Introducing the specter of abuse in response to my comment seems misplaced."

It is only misplaced to David because he is clueless of how abusive things have gotten for some women in their Christian circles and their marriages. I understand that David is hurt and hurting over what his wife has done to him. But to decide, from his personal experience and comparing notes with a few guys who don't feel respected, that respect is a 'foreign' concept to all Christian wives and that "the church has dropped the ball on this since forever" if very short-sighted and, okay, let's just come out and say it... it's prejudiced.

Sorry, David, for being so blunt. But I'm only doing it because I don't like it when abused/disrespected men and abused/unloved wives talk past each other and bicker over minor details rather than seeing the big picture and working out real solutions.

So anyway, I have said all of this to set up a link I'm going to give. There is a book out called "Created to be His Helpmeet" (CTBHHM) written by a certain Debi Pearl that has earned the nick name "Created to be His Doormat" and for good reason. Debi goes into great detail on how a woman is supposed to reverence her husband (not respect, but reverence, she's King James only). I'm not going to link her book. You can find it easily since it is such a big seller among Christian wives in evangelical circles (those gals you accuse viewing the concept of respect as 'foreign'). An huge seller.

No, I'm not going to link Debi's book. But I am going to link a post by a girl raised in a Patriarchal home turned atheist who is critiquing Debi's book. Oh, is it slanderous that I'm linking an atheist? Well, I guess anyone can judge me this way if they want to. But they need to understand that this atheist turned atheist, in part, due to the over-emphasis of respect/reverence/worship of the man, the husband, the father in the patriarchal group she came from.

Still judging her for being atheist and me for linking one on my blog? All I can plead is this:

Luke 16:8 And his master praised the unrighteous manager because he had acted shrewdly; for the sons of this age are more shrewd in relation to their own kind than the sons of light.

Libby Anne, the gal I'm linking, can see this abuse for what it is. She lived it. She escaped it. Now she's critiquing it and showing it for what it is, abuse. Wolf attitudes dressed in Sheep's clothing.

 CTBHHM: In Which a Woman Dares to Assert Agency

Some of the angry comments under her post are from others who have seen or experienced this ridiculous over emphasis on respect, er I mean reverence and fear.

The only reason I have linked this is to debunk David's comment concerning respect being a 'foreign' concept among Christian wives. This simply isn't true. There are a lot of people coming out of the patriarchy and heavy complementarian movements. Some are rejecting God and the Bible altogether. Others still want to find answers in God and the Bible. We do those searching for answers a disservice when we give them pat, worn-out, clichéd answers like the book "Love and Respect" and claim that teachings on respect are "foreign".

Jock Strap Religion, Part 2

I have a lot to say but not much time to say it.

I love the title of my friend, Hannah's, blog post concerning the SGM debacle and T4G and TGC's response to it. The title is "Together for Mahaney at the Southern Baptist Convention". And she goes into analysis of how these good ol' boys have each other's backs (and privates!).

I've just recently linked to two other blogs that also demonstrate what I call Jock Strap Religion (JSR). The one linked on Friday illustrates how the Pearls hold women responsible for everything, including the sins of men. The other one linked on Tuesday shows how oldest daughters are the ones exposed to abuse and mistreatment in order to protect the abusive system of patriarchy (the ultimate JSR).

Needless to say, seeing all this protection of 'holy' and 'superior' manhood and their sins at the expense of women and children, making women and children vulnerable and the ones taking the blows and bearing the abuse (rather than the men who should bear the consequences of their own sins) has just increased my distaste of man-made JSR. This is the kingdom that Mahaney, T4G, TGC, the Pearls, CBMW, and many others are building. A Jock Strap Kingdom where men, manhood, and manlike sins are protected and covered and where women and children are thrown under the bus to protect this kingdom and the 'privates' of men.

Jesus did the opposite of this. He held men accountable for their own sins and released women from bearing that burden:

Matthew 5:27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; 28 but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

He also called all into account for hurting His little, defenseless lambs.

Matthew 18:6 but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.

Jesus didn't come to earth to promote a JSR or build a Jock Strap Kingdom. This is the work of men who want to cover their own hinneys and fronties while walking all over the vulnerable. Jesus is the champion of the vulnerable. He does not wink at the sins of men. Just because Jesus walked the earth as a man doesn't mean He 'understands' the sins of men, makes allowances for those sins, and/or looks the other way.

John 8:3 The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery, and having set her in the center of the court, 4 they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act. 5 Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do You say?” 6 They were saying this, testing Him, so that they might have grounds for accusing Him. But Jesus stooped down and with His finger wrote on the ground. 7 But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. 9 When they heard it, they began to go out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He was left alone, and the woman, where she was, in the center of the court. 10 Straightening up, Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?” 11 She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more.”]

For those who don't know. The above passage was not about Jesus 'going soft' on sin. It was Jesus confronting the unjust culture that stoned women for adultery while letting the men go free. Cause really, if she was caught in the very act... where was the guy? Oh, that's right, the other men covered and hid that man and his sin from Jesus. They were practicing JSR where they protect men and condemn women. JSR is a Pharisee concoction. It has no part in the Kingdom of God that Jesus was setting up.

This is the reason why I loved the title to Hannah's post. It gets to the heart of the matter. Together for the Gospel and The Gospel Coalition, and whoever else that is coming to Mahaney's defense... They are NOT together for the Gospel. At least NOT the one that Jesus preached. They are together to protect men and their sins. They are together to protect Mahaney, the pastors, and all the pedophiles hiding in SGM. They are together against the women and children who have been trampled on by these men, including Mahaney. They are together for their beloved and worshiped Jock Strap Religion.

In case you missed part 1 of the Jock Strap Religion, unofficial series.

Women Held Responsible with No Authoriy

My post with links concerning the Oldest Daughter Syndrome made me remember something my father said once. He was a manager in a government agency so he understood managing, running a company, authority, and responsibility.

He said that it was wrong to make a person responsible for something they have no authority over and just as wrong to give someone authority while not holding them responsible for that authority.

This is exactly what Patriarchy does.

It gives the men all the authority while not holding them accountable for any of that authority while making women responsible for everything that goes wrong even while they have no authority in the situation.

I could go into a long explanation. But why, when there is a perfect example of the blatant off-balance authority/responsibly paradigm being ranted about over at Defeating the Dragons.

Cloistered Fruit: (NOT) an Open Letter to the Pearls

I don't link much about the Pearls. They are another couple that have gone too far over the cuckoo's edge for me to take seriously any day of the week.

But I take this rant very seriously because it is right on target.

Mom STILL Recovering from Misguided Pearl Teaching

Mike and Debi Pearl put out this terrible book "To Train Up a Child"  (TTUAC). Debi is the one who wrote the horrible "Created To Be His Doormat" book that I have mentioned before as I link other people's thoughts on its damaging and marraige destroying message. Both books have made the circuit where I live. I've read them both. I have family members who still think one or the other book (or both) is helpful.

Elizabeth Esther, who I've had in my blog list from nearly the beginning, is open and honest about her recent break down over what being a child brought up in a TTUAC home is like. And she is a full grown adult who left her cult home before she ever had children. Yet the result of the book has carried over into raising her children, something she had to confront and overcome.

Here is Elizabeth Esther's story:
Love Until It Hurts