Sunday, June 4, 2023

Shiny Happy People Aftercare Resources

 Yes, I watched it.

No, it was not triggering to me. I managed to avoid most of the crap that came from Gothard and the IBLP/ATI propaganda. I put them in the category of Doug Wilson, so far over the cuckoo's edge, I just couldn't get bogged down in their B.S.

Also, I never watched the Duggars on TV. Couldn't stand the idea of it. Plus, I was also more laser focused on Driscoll*, Piper, TGC, and others like that at the time who were also troubling the Church with their aberrant doctrine and teaching points.

But, I know that there are many, many people who have been or are going to be severely triggered by Amazon's number one tv show. So for them, I'll link a resource page:

Aftercare resources

*For those who come here for Driscoll stuff, I've been meaning to get to this. I even started a post about it but could never get back to finish it. So I'm going to just link these two things here. Do with them as you like.

Wenatchee the Hatchet has an interesting look at a recent Tweet from Driscoll comparing menopause to demonic possession. 

Which isn't strange since Driscoll links women pretty close to Satan. He has many examples like what Wenatchee lists in his post linked above.

Also, here is a quote from another source where Driscoll calls women who don't fit into his doctrine on womanhood Satan. It is under the subheading Family Division.

You could call these last two links off-topic, if you like. But I don't think so. It all stems from the same issue of celebrity preachers building up kingdoms for themselves and using God's name in vain to do so. These cult leaders are very controlling, ,manipulative, and often hate women.

Edited to add Recovering Grace's page on the topic of Shiny Happy People.

Seen "Shiny Happy People"?

Hopefully more people will find healing.

Thursday, May 18, 2023

Final Word on Josh Butler's Beautiful Union Debacle

 Well, actually, there will never be a final word because Josh Butler is doubling down and determined to FORCE people to accept and understand his idiocracy.

But, I have really enjoyed the Substack series by Laura Robinson on the matter. Here is the latest from her series, words after her brilliant conclusion:

What If It's Just Bad? Beautiful Union Part Forever, It Will Never Stop

This is something I will probably refer back to because Reformer men don't understand what they have done to themselves and the church by sidelining women, insulting them, and never being willing to hear their voices if their voices are not fawning over how brilliant Reformer men are.

Thursday, April 27, 2023

The ESV Is Not a Good Translation

 I've said it here before. I'll say it again. The ESV translation of the Bible is dishonest and it has an agenda that opposes the work of God.

It was made to support Complementarianism and Patriarchy. It was made to take away power from women in the Church and give it to men alone.

Here is a YouTube video going into it further:

3 Problems with the ESV

Edited to add:

Why I'm Not Using the ESV Anymore (The Good, The Sketchy, and the Gnarly)

Tuesday, April 11, 2023

Pearls Before Swine

 The author of this bit below posted it on Facebook and said to feel free to share. I'm not sure this is what she means. But I'm going to share it here for now and give her the proper credit. If she asks me to take it down, I will. Sharing because I so relate. Sharing because I feel that this is similar to my "The Parable of the Talents Revisited" post from earlier this month. (The link on her name goes to her Facebook page.)


"Clutching Her Pearls: The painful preservation of God's good gifts" by Rebecca Congleton

“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” Matthew 7:6
Torn to pieces. It may sound marginally melodramatic, but that metaphor, used by Jesus to illustrate the immense cost of offering what is most valuable to those who are unable to appreciate its importance, so poignantly describes the deep and dangerous wound, too often left in the hearts of Christian women. Those who passionately and courageously pursue a calling or openly pour out their gifts in a culture or environment where those callings and gifts are perceived as either less-than the ones proffered by men, or inappropriately sought by a woman, are very likely to have their souls trampled and their worth torn apart.
I was 28 years old, when I found myself co-leading worship with my new husband at a storefront church of fewer than 30 people in a small Indiana town. Joe was (and is) my second husband. My first marriage had ended after years of physical and sexual abuse, which culminated in my ex-husband’s arrest for stalking, voyeurism, and residential entry; crimes which were carried out against our young neighbor. It was only after his arrest that I felt the freedom to file for divorce. Though I had disclosed many incidents of abuse to my former pastor and his wife, I had always been encouraged to stay, pray, and submit.
A year later, having been liberated from constant peril and violence, rebuilding my life, recovering from trauma, safe and so very happy in my union with Joe, and leading worship in a new fellowship, I felt the healing winds of the unwavering love of Christ blowing powerfully through my heart, disturbing the well-anchored roots of shame and fear.
I felt like Mary, pouring out her priceless bottle of perfume. I had held onto my gift, my voice, my song, for so many years, knowing Christ had placed it in me for the purpose of worship, but always questioning how I could ever stand on a platform and fearlessly lift my voice, when I felt worthless, when my own husband could not love or care for me?
On the other side of that dark season, I finally felt free. I finally felt whole. It was time to step into my calling. The pastor who planted our brand new church, which was affiliated with a well-known global association of churches, recognized that calling and wanted to nurture it, and nurture it he did, until a devastating cancer diagnosis forced him to suddenly step aside. A week later, we welcomed a new pastor, and soon thereafter, I was informed, following a meeting between the new pastor and my husband—which I wasn’t invited to attend—I would no longer be on the worship team.
The reason provided to me for this change in leadership was vague and not related to my gender, but I knew immediately that was the heart of it, and I felt utterly destroyed, “torn apart”. I wept. I wept harder than the first time my ex-husband had sexually assaulted me. I wept from a different place. I wept from the very center of my being, the place where my devotion, my intimacy with Christ lives and grows. I wept as I felt those roots of shame and worthlessness begin to form once again. I had poured out my perfume. I had brought my precious pearls, so painstakingly guarded and treasured during years of abuse, and they had been carelessly rejected. There is no pain like the pain of having your purpose trampled underfoot.
Joe’s heart was broken too. He declined our pastor’s proposal that he continue to lead without me beside him. Holding me in his arms, as I cried, he said “How could I? How could I possibly do that, knowing you are hurting like this?”
For months we faithfully continued to attend services at our church. Most Sundays I cried through the entire worship set, now led by two brothers, ages 15 and 16. I lifted my hands in surrender and refused to allow the agony of this loss to create distance between my heart and God’s. I wasn’t just broken, I was angry. I was confused. I wasn’t even invited into a conversation about why I had been “sat down”. I would silently pray the same prayer over and over again. “Why can’t I be used the way I know you want to use me? I don’t understand. Just help me understand.”
I wish my experience was the exception and not the rule, but my heart has been grieved over and over, as I’ve heard and observed similarly painful experiences by women who want nothing more than to live out their callings in honor of Christ.
A friend in South Carolina wrote to me, recently, on social media, describing how she was treated as a young woman in bible college. When she was just a freshman, a professor accosted her in front of his entire department for closing his office door behind her, when she met with him to discuss a paper, treating her as though her very presence in his office was an indiscretion, because she was female. She was also denied the opportunity to pursue Pastoral Studies and wasn’t provided with a mentor to answer her theological questions, because all the mentors were men. Now, years later, having been subjected to bullying by a male pastor at a church where she was a counselor, she is not currently in active ministry. This intelligent, kind, creative, God-loving individual with so much to offer the Body of Christ works in a secular field and is thriving, but how might her story have been different if the men who claimed to follow Christ had treated her as an equal?
My husband and I spent a few years traveling as full-time music missionaries, and we eventually relocated. Now, living in the deep south, hardly a week goes by when I don’t witness the oppression of women within the faith community. Male headship and authority are so deeply ingrained here, to openly think differently is to welcome disdain, admonishment, and even severe correction. Still, I know it is not the heart of Christ. When Mary brought her perfumed oil and knelt at his feet, he honored her. He recognized not only the value of what she poured out, but her worth as an image bearer of God. While the religious elite stood by in shock and judgment, insisting her most valuable asset was not being utilized appropriately, Jesus allowed her to use her hair, one of the most culturally significant features of her womanhood, to wipe her tears from his feet. Can you imagine anything more intimate and easily misunderstood? Yet he did not push her away or rebuke her. Her gender, her femininity was not a threat to him. Her motives were not questioned by him, because she was female. He valued her gift, because he knew what it cost her, and be assured the cost was much higher than simply the price of the oil.
It has taken me until the age of 41 to fully understand the harm done by complementarian theology, not just to the women whose giftings are rejected, but to the whole of the Body of Christ, when fifty percent of us are relegated to smiling, cake-baking, baby-birthing, “helpers” and nothing more.
Joe and I received a late night knock on our front door from that Indiana pastor, several months after I was dismissed from leadership, a knock which was followed by a sincere apology and a reinstatement—after he had discussed whether women should be permitted to lead worship with the California-based founder of our fellowship of churches, who affirmed it was an acceptable role for women—but the damage had been done. We stepped back into our position, leading a gathering of roughly thirty people in worship, every Sunday, for the next couple years, but never with the same confidence, never with the same blissful feeling of being right where we belonged. I was once again “clutching my pearls”, aware I was not in a safe place to fully walk in the calling placed on my life.
I’m so thankful to say, after a long journey serving and struggling within complementarian churches, Joe and I are now part of the worship team at a thriving egalitarian church, where we live in Augusta, GA. One of the first things the Worship Pastor said specifically to me, after our audition, was “Rebecca, I see leadership in you,” and those six words may have been the most healing words a Pastor has ever spoken to me.
Clutch your pearls, if you must. Stash your expensive oil away from the eyes of earthly-minded men, but seek out Jesus. Look for him where he may be found, and there at his feet you will discover a safe place to pour out the most valuable substance you possess, the very life and breath he has given you. It is never a waste to offer them there, and you can trust that he will never chastise you or turn you away. He will never trample your beautiful soul beneath his beautiful feet.


Thank you, Rebecca, for putting so eloquently what many of us feel.

Wednesday, April 5, 2023

Escaping Doug Wilson

 This is another post that is just about keeping track of links.

I've recently been made aware of Abra Miller who was a member of Doug Wilson's branch of, so called, Christianity. But she has escaped. And I want to keep track of her and link two things to go back to and look at more closely later.

This is a YouTube interview with an Atheist (though Abra maintains belief in God):

Christ Church Rampant: Where Patriarchy, Grooming, Gaslighting, and Shunning Thrive

And this is Abra's personal blog:

Glory Askew

I like knowing about those who have escaped and live to tell.

Edited to add other things showcasing how awful and unbiblical Doug Wilson is.

What's Wrong with Doug Wilson

Inside the Church That Preaches "Wives need to be led with a firm hand"

This guy just needs to go away.

Monday, April 3, 2023

The Parable of the Talents Revisited.

 The Parable of the Talents used to bother me. That is, until I meditated on it and gained further understanding.

But this blog post is not about my understanding of the parable. I may or may not present that here at a later date.

Rather this is about someone telling the parable from a different perspective, one that I feel is needed in this day and age. It is concerning how the church treats women and their talents.

I want to leave the link for it here. Perhaps I will have the opportunity to explore its ins and outs. Perhaps not. More importantly, I'm putting it here so that I can find it again when I want it. I have reasons.

Anyway, here is the link:

Sort of Like the Parable of the Talents

God knows our weaknesses. He also knows the things that oppose His glory within us as women. How I wish that there were more Proverbs Men who supported and encouraged Proverbs Women, rather than all the leaders, teachers, pastors, husbands who kick the legs out from under their women and then complain about the weaknesses of women.

Edited to add two more links that I just want to have within easy reach

Rebekah Mui's response to Denny Burk

Sheila Gregoire's commentary on Rebekah's words.

I like them both.

Sunday, March 19, 2023

A Pornified Brain Assaulting The Songs, Again.

 I finished Biblical Porn the other day. It's been out since 2018 but I felt no need to read it because ol' pornified brain Driscoll has been reduced to a lying little disgraced 'pastor'* in a suburb of Phoenix.

(*pastor? really? ah, no, not really. pastors care for the flock. driscoll just uses people and throws them away when they are no longer useful to him.)

But things have changed because Driscoll is at it again, assaulting a beautiful Book of Poetry in the Bible, manipulating and twisting it beyond breaking point. Then taking the twisted and broken version of that Book and using it to create a porn and rape culture in his present church. Because of this I felt the need to read the above linked book that Wenatchee the Hatchet considers to be the best book dealing with the train wreak of Driscoll at Mars Hill in Seattle.

Driscoll first unleashed his his porn heavy interpretation of the Song of Songs back in 2007 or 2008 in the form of his "Peasant Princess" series. He also gave a sermon in Scotland called "Sex, a study of the good bits from the Song of Solomon" that he has since tried to scrub because it was so wrong, un-Christian and repulsive. Listen at your own risk.

Well, a month ago, he has recycled his porn song into a book he calls "Real Romance". Unfortunately, Driscoll believes that his perception of the world, life, sex, and marriage is the only "Real" perception. All other perceptions that don't line up, lockstep, with his are, I don't know, fake? lacking? Not Driscoll centric?

Well, I waited for a while for people to do reviews on the book since I certainly don't want to read it. I'm still getting over watching the first part of just one of his Peasant Princess videos. Now, every time I read that portion of the Songs, I remember that unfortunate and video series and how it has so muddied the waters for so many people.

I know many of the people harmed by Driscoll in Seattle have no desire to review "Real Romance" and I totally get it. If I regret watching one part of one Peasant Princess video, I can only imagine what people who were immersed in his Peasant Princess/Real Marriage crap feel about ever looking at it.

Well, anyway, because of all the above, I decided to link a guest series written by Wenatchee the Hatchet concerning his view on how Driscoll mishandled The Songs back in 2011. I'm doing this as a public service for anyone who has been assaulted by Driscoll's porn meditations through his newest book and would like to see a thoughtful response from someone who had been a member of his church back in Seattle.

Introducing Wenatchee the Hatchet (WTH)

WTH on Driscoll's SoS Intro and Part 1

WTH on Driscoll's SoS Parts 2 and 3

WTH on Driscoll's SoS Part 4a

WTH on Driscoll's SoS Part 4b

Hopefully, someday, Driscoll will stop troubling the Church with his warped ideas on men, women, and sex. But I'm not holding my breath.

Tuesday, March 7, 2023

A Couple More Important Thoughts on TGC Doctrine Problem

 I really like this one from someone I've never read before or even heard of, Beth Felker Jones:

Protestant bodies, Protestant bedrooms

This next one is from Scot McKnight. I have heard of him before, but not read much from him:

Social Media Speaks

Then of course there is some coverage by Julie Roys reporting team:

TGC Issues an Apology

Finally, The Wartburg Watch had a bit on it:

The Controversy Over Josh Butler

I may add more to this link page. Or not. We'll see.

Saturday, March 4, 2023

TGC Echo Chamber

 Unless you live under a rock, you most likely have heard about the ridiculous goings on at The Gospel Coalition, the Keller Centre, and Multnomah Publishing.

If, indeed, someone comes here not knowing, I will link three places to go for more information

Bare Marriage had a good post with lots of links to other opinions: My V@gina Is Not My "Most Holy Place": A Response to the Gospel Coalition.

Under Much Grace comes in with an overview of the history that has led up to this crazy outcome: The Spermeneutics of Spread Your Legs Theology

And I'll add Biblical Personhood's for good measure simple because I miss her voice in the blogsphere as she doesn't publish as much as she and she had such good insight. (Hi, Retha, I see you!): The Gospel Coalition seemingly Endorses Phallic Worship -- And Inadvertently Makes the Case for Women Elders.

Poor Joshua Butler. He really stepped into it, didn't he? And TGC?

This is what happens when a bunch of men refuse to acknowledge the wisdom and concerns of women for years on end. This is what happens when they keep talking to each other about things they don't fully understand. They get weirder and weirder with no wise feminine input or push back. They get emboldened in their error. And out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.

Concerning the Proverbs Woman:

Proverbs 31:26 She opens her mouth in wisdom,

And the [q]teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

Too bad TGC and other Complementarianas fight so hard to shut women up and beat them down with twisted Bible verses. Too bad they judged women to be foolish and unwise. By doing this, they have shot themselves in the foot. They had told everyone that women are lesser parts of the Body of Christ. As a result women were ignored, used, abused and dismissed. And this has blown up in their faces.

Thursday, March 2, 2023

Mark Driscoll & Biblical Porn

 I'm reading a book highly recommended to me by my internet friend WenatcheeTheHatchet.

It is called Biblical Porn: Affect, Labor, and Pastor Mark Driscoll's Evangelical Empire

I am about halfway through. I knew things were bad and that Driscoll was doing terrible things to people up in Seattle while he dominated his church. But I didn't know how bad.

Wenatchee has a review of the Biblical Porn book that he did back in 2018 that he says is nsfw:

Prelude and Review of Jessica Johnson's Biblical Porn

NSFW? He ain't kidding.

Why am I reading this now and why am I bringing it up now? Well, I mentioned before that Driscoll has recycled his old Peasant Princess series on the Song of Solomon and written a book called "Real Romance" that he had published last month on Valentine's Day.

So far, there are still no reviews for it on Amazon, which I find surprising. Surely someone somewhere has read the book and has an opinion. I've put a few feelers out to see if anyone has said anything. But so far nothing.

I guess the bottom line for me, the reason this bothers me, is because he's still out their throwing pig feces on the Best of Songs in the Bible, making it all about how he can coerce his wife and all Christian women into becoming strippers, porn stars, prostitutes for their husbands and saying that God agrees with him. He uses God's Word to promote a rape culture and tries to make people believe that God approves of his abusive teachings.

I might not care if I hadn't spent an entire decade before I ever heard of Mark Driscoll, meditating on the healing aspects of The Songs. Within this Best of All Songs there is healing for those of us who have been abused and coerced by narcissistic husbands.

But this Narcissist from Seattle who has moved to Phoenix has used it to abuse his wife and all Christian women within ear shot. This bully of a man who thinks he speaks for God has used it to pimp out Christian women in order to build his own kingdom on sand. Please see Kyle Howard's YouTube video on the topic.

Well, I guess I'll continue to read this book suggested by my internet friend Wenatchee. He would know a lot concerning Driscoll since he used to go to his church. He was actually able to supply the author of the book I linked above with more damning evidence against Driscoll. And he was able to watch, in person, as Driscoll committed a hostile take over of Mars Hill then swerve the poor, unsuspecting congregation into terrible error, making it a hotbed of rape culture and other abuses.

Monday, February 20, 2023

Bumping an Old, Lost Post Up

 Actually, I'm not going to bump it up. I'm just going to link to it somewhere below.

I wrote this post back towards the end of 2010 because I was caught between two women with very strong opinions that seemed to contradict.

Since I valued the temporary internet friendship of both women at the time, I felt the deep need to reconcile the two opinions and make a bridge between them. They both commented and seemed to appreciate the clarification my post brought.

It is concerning whether forgiving an oppressor is a biblical response or a fawning response (Of the Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn Trauma Response).

I came to the conclusion that actual, biblical forgiveness best comes from a place of Strength and Safety, hence the title of the post:

Strength and Safety.

Wednesday, February 15, 2023

Two Links for Today

 First, Keith Gregoire defending his wife, Sheila, again. Because Sheila doesn't hold up male supremacy as God's divine order 'clearly' laid out in the Bible, she is being accused of not being 'biblical'.

Being Biblical Means Loving the Whole Bible, Not Just Pet Verses.

You go, Keith. I always love it when you contribute to Sheila's blog. This time you were able to logically expose the hypocrisy of those accusing Sheila.

And this from Baptist Global New:

Why Women Talking has women talking and complementarian men fuming

Apparently, male headship is way more important than women talking and working together to deliver themselves from abuse and injustice. At least one dude from The Gospel Coalition thought this so strongly he felt the need to write about it.

Edited 2/18/23 to add this link:

An Ex-Bible Counselor Responds to Christianity Today

It's another good Read.

Edited 2/22/23 to add this one.

Mark Driscoll's Demand for Loyalty Divides Daughter-in-Laws Family

Just wanted to be able to find this one later.