Women Seem Wicked and the "Sin" of Empathy

 Was driving down the road when a Doors song came on the radio. I'm not really a Doors fan. Their front man, Jim Morrison, rubs me the wrong way. However, the song on the radio "People Are Strange" had an interesting line that jumped out at me.

It went like this:

"Women seem wicked when you're unwanted. Streets are uneven when you're down"

And I thought in that moment, Wow, whatever I don't like about Jim Morrison, he sure is smarter than all the incels, red pillers and theobros put together.

Why do I say this? Because Jim had enough clarity, maturity, and self-understanding that he knew, just because he was feeling off didn't mean that women were wicked. They just seemed that way.

But incels, red pillers, and theobros have all decided that, because of how they feel on the inside, it must be women's fault. It's not that women seem wicked. To all these little men, women truly are wicked. All women are wicked, especially those that won't fit into the little packaged molds these men demand women to scrunch down into.

Incels, red pillers, and theobros can't zoom out from inside their head. How they feel inside must be the truth. Their heads are so far up their own orifices that they can't see beyond their own noses.

And I think this is why Joe Rigney's book "The Sin of Empathy" is so popular among the theobros. They like it inside their own heads. They don't want to be able to see beyond the limited confines of their own narrow and self-serving thoughts. They do not want to know what it might be like in a woman's shoes. They only want to be able to stand off to the side and judge women from their teeny tiny self-centered views.

"People Are Strange" Lyrics

People are strange
When you're a stranger
Faces look ugly
When you're alone

Women seem wicked
When you're unwanted
Streets are uneven
When you're down

When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name
When you're strange
When you're strange
When you're strange

The Sin of Being a Woman, er, I Mean Empathy

 I'm kind of late posting anything on this farce of a book.

But better late than never, right?

Especially since I've found the best little review on it.

Over on Facebook, I have gotten into several verbal disagreements with Doug Wilson and Joe Rigney fans over this accursed book. They keep saying something like, "You obviously haven't read the book because if you did, you would understand and wouldn't blindly and wildly criticize it."

In other words, they want me (and those like me) to buy the book. I let them know in no uncertain terms that Doug Wilson, Joe Rigney, and Canon Press will never get a single dime from me to fund their war on women.

"War on women?" you say?

Yes. War on women

Please read this review found here at Mere Orthodoxy to understand what I mean:

A Sham Trial: Reviewing 'The Sin of Empathy'

I'm glad Danielle Treweek read that infernal book so I don't have to

Deconstructing from the Sin of Patriarchy

 The title above is a shortened version of what I wanted to have.

I wanted the title to be more along the lines of this. "The Evangelical Church needs to deconstruct itself away from its sin of Patriarchy before it completely dies. Because the Evangelical leaders have already made themselves quite irrelevant by clinging to this idol that they worship in vain."

Someone: "That's a bold move, Cotton, calling patriarchy a sin."

Me: "It's not nearly as bold now as it used to be. Now Evangelical Patriarchy is being exposed on many fronts for the sham it is and how it has lied to everyone including itself."

I've been deconstructing from the Evangelical's claim that Patriarchy is biblical for years and will link two posts about the two main lies (of many) that it has told it's women.

Lie number one id from June 2011: "I Heard It Said Once"

Lie number two is from September 2015: "The Patriarchs' Second Lie to Women"

Those familiar with my blog and the above two links won't need to follow them.

But I've said all of this to lead up to a way more important link. It is a discussion of how patriarchy works and how it truly hates women. The treatment of Beth Moore is used as evidence for the rotten fruit of patriarchy.

"Misogyny, the SBC, and Beth Moore"

Along with this link, I'll make another link to my friend, Cindy Kunsman. She will continue her exposure of a Bruce Ware's message eventually. But for now, she is enjoying a much needed respite as she meditates on how the leaders of the toxic patriarchy movement are passing away.

A Pause for Respite and Recollection

She was one who paid dearly for speaking out against men like Ware back in the day. Now, others are taking on the fight. But there are more of them and there is more support for them. Though people like Sheila Gregoire have also suffered, she has more support and there is more momentum carrying her and her message beyond some isolated area of the internet.

Patriarchy, your mountain top alter will soon be made low. And the women and children you thrusted down into the valley of abuse shall be raised up.

Final Word on Josh Butler's Beautiful Union Debacle

 Well, actually, there will never be a final word because Josh Butler is doubling down and determined to FORCE people to accept and understand his idiocracy.

But, I have really enjoyed the Substack series by Laura Robinson on the matter. Here is the latest from her series, words after her brilliant conclusion:

What If It's Just Bad? Beautiful Union Part Forever, It Will Never Stop

This is something I will probably refer back to because Reformer men don't understand what they have done to themselves and the church by sidelining women, insulting them, and never being willing to hear their voices if their voices are not fawning over how brilliant Reformer men are.

The ESV Is Not a Good Translation

 I've said it here before. I'll say it again. The ESV translation of the Bible is dishonest and it has an agenda that opposes the work of God.

It was made to support Complementarianism and Patriarchy. It was made to take away power from women in the Church and give it to men alone.

Here is a YouTube video going into it further:

3 Problems with the ESV

Edited to add:

Why I'm Not Using the ESV Anymore (The Good, The Sketchy, and the Gnarly)

Pearls Before Swine

 The author of this bit below posted it on Facebook and said to feel free to share. I'm not sure this is what she means. But I'm going to share it here for now and give her the proper credit. If she asks me to take it down, I will. Sharing because I so relate. Sharing because I feel that this is similar to my "The Parable of the Talents Revisited" post from earlier this month. (The link on her name goes to her Facebook page.)

*****

"Clutching Her Pearls: The painful preservation of God's good gifts" by Rebecca Congleton

“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” Matthew 7:6

Torn to pieces. It may sound marginally melodramatic, but that metaphor, used by Jesus to illustrate the immense cost of offering what is most valuable to those who are unable to appreciate its importance, so poignantly describes the deep and dangerous wound, too often left in the hearts of Christian women. Those who passionately and courageously pursue a calling or openly pour out their gifts in a culture or environment where those callings and gifts are perceived as either less-than the ones proffered by men, or inappropriately sought by a woman, are very likely to have their souls trampled and their worth torn apart.

I was 28 years old, when I found myself co-leading worship with my new husband at a storefront church of fewer than 30 people in a small Indiana town. Joe was (and is) my second husband. My first marriage had ended after years of physical and sexual abuse, which culminated in my ex-husband’s arrest for stalking, voyeurism, and residential entry; crimes which were carried out against our young neighbor. It was only after his arrest that I felt the freedom to file for divorce. Though I had disclosed many incidents of abuse to my former pastor and his wife, I had always been encouraged to stay, pray, and submit.

A year later, having been liberated from constant peril and violence, rebuilding my life, recovering from trauma, safe and so very happy in my union with Joe, and leading worship in a new fellowship, I felt the healing winds of the unwavering love of Christ blowing powerfully through my heart, disturbing the well-anchored roots of shame and fear.

I felt like Mary, pouring out her priceless bottle of perfume. I had held onto my gift, my voice, my song, for so many years, knowing Christ had placed it in me for the purpose of worship, but always questioning how I could ever stand on a platform and fearlessly lift my voice, when I felt worthless, when my own husband could not love or care for me?

On the other side of that dark season, I finally felt free. I finally felt whole. It was time to step into my calling. The pastor who planted our brand new church, which was affiliated with a well-known global association of churches, recognized that calling and wanted to nurture it, and nurture it he did, until a devastating cancer diagnosis forced him to suddenly step aside. A week later, we welcomed a new pastor, and soon thereafter, I was informed, following a meeting between the new pastor and my husband—which I wasn’t invited to attend—I would no longer be on the worship team.

The reason provided to me for this change in leadership was vague and not related to my gender, but I knew immediately that was the heart of it, and I felt utterly destroyed, “torn apart”. I wept. I wept harder than the first time my ex-husband had sexually assaulted me. I wept from a different place. I wept from the very center of my being, the place where my devotion, my intimacy with Christ lives and grows. I wept as I felt those roots of shame and worthlessness begin to form once again. I had poured out my perfume. I had brought my precious pearls, so painstakingly guarded and treasured during years of abuse, and they had been carelessly rejected. There is no pain like the pain of having your purpose trampled underfoot.

Joe’s heart was broken too. He declined our pastor’s proposal that he continue to lead without me beside him. Holding me in his arms, as I cried, he said “How could I? How could I possibly do that, knowing you are hurting like this?”

For months we faithfully continued to attend services at our church. Most Sundays I cried through the entire worship set, now led by two brothers, ages 15 and 16. I lifted my hands in surrender and refused to allow the agony of this loss to create distance between my heart and God’s. I wasn’t just broken, I was angry. I was confused. I wasn’t even invited into a conversation about why I had been “sat down”. I would silently pray the same prayer over and over again. “Why can’t I be used the way I know you want to use me? I don’t understand. Just help me understand.”

I wish my experience was the exception and not the rule, but my heart has been grieved over and over, as I’ve heard and observed similarly painful experiences by women who want nothing more than to live out their callings in honor of Christ.

A friend in South Carolina wrote to me, recently, on social media, describing how she was treated as a young woman in bible college. When she was just a freshman, a professor accosted her in front of his entire department for closing his office door behind her, when she met with him to discuss a paper, treating her as though her very presence in his office was an indiscretion, because she was female. She was also denied the opportunity to pursue Pastoral Studies and wasn’t provided with a mentor to answer her theological questions, because all the mentors were men. Now, years later, having been subjected to bullying by a male pastor at a church where she was a counselor, she is not currently in active ministry. This intelligent, kind, creative, God-loving individual with so much to offer the Body of Christ works in a secular field and is thriving, but how might her story have been different if the men who claimed to follow Christ had treated her as an equal?

My husband and I spent a few years traveling as full-time music missionaries, and we eventually relocated. Now, living in the deep south, hardly a week goes by when I don’t witness the oppression of women within the faith community. Male headship and authority are so deeply ingrained here, to openly think differently is to welcome disdain, admonishment, and even severe correction. Still, I know it is not the heart of Christ. When Mary brought her perfumed oil and knelt at his feet, he honored her. He recognized not only the value of what she poured out, but her worth as an image bearer of God. While the religious elite stood by in shock and judgment, insisting her most valuable asset was not being utilized appropriately, Jesus allowed her to use her hair, one of the most culturally significant features of her womanhood, to wipe her tears from his feet. Can you imagine anything more intimate and easily misunderstood? Yet he did not push her away or rebuke her. Her gender, her femininity was not a threat to him. Her motives were not questioned by him, because she was female. He valued her gift, because he knew what it cost her, and be assured the cost was much higher than simply the price of the oil.

It has taken me until the age of 41 to fully understand the harm done by complementarian theology, not just to the women whose giftings are rejected, but to the whole of the Body of Christ, when fifty percent of us are relegated to smiling, cake-baking, baby-birthing, “helpers” and nothing more.

Joe and I received a late night knock on our front door from that Indiana pastor, several months after I was dismissed from leadership, a knock which was followed by a sincere apology and a reinstatement—after he had discussed whether women should be permitted to lead worship with the California-based founder of our fellowship of churches, who affirmed it was an acceptable role for women—but the damage had been done. We stepped back into our position, leading a gathering of roughly thirty people in worship, every Sunday, for the next couple years, but never with the same confidence, never with the same blissful feeling of being right where we belonged. I was once again “clutching my pearls”, aware I was not in a safe place to fully walk in the calling placed on my life.

I’m so thankful to say, after a long journey serving and struggling within complementarian churches, Joe and I are now part of the worship team at a thriving egalitarian church, where we live in Augusta, GA. One of the first things the Worship Pastor said specifically to me, after our audition, was “Rebecca, I see leadership in you,” and those six words may have been the most healing words a Pastor has ever spoken to me.

Clutch your pearls, if you must. Stash your expensive oil away from the eyes of earthly-minded men, but seek out Jesus. Look for him where he may be found, and there at his feet you will discover a safe place to pour out the most valuable substance you possess, the very life and breath he has given you. It is never a waste to offer them there, and you can trust that he will never chastise you or turn you away. He will never trample your beautiful soul beneath his beautiful feet.

*****

Thank you, Rebecca, for putting so eloquently what many of us feel.

Escaping Doug Wilson

 This is another post that is just about keeping track of links.

I've recently been made aware of Abra Miller who was a member of Doug Wilson's branch of, so called, Christianity. But she has escaped. And I want to keep track of her and link two things to go back to and look at more closely later.

This is a YouTube interview with an Atheist (though Abra maintains belief in God):

Christ Church Rampant: Where Patriarchy, Grooming, Gaslighting, and Shunning Thrive

And this is Abra's personal blog:

Glory Askew

I like knowing about those who have escaped and live to tell.

Edited to add other things showcasing how awful and unbiblical Doug Wilson is.

What's Wrong with Doug Wilson

Inside the Church That Preaches "Wives need to be led with a firm hand"

This guy just needs to go away.

Two Links for Today

 First, Keith Gregoire defending his wife, Sheila, again. Because Sheila doesn't hold up male supremacy as God's divine order 'clearly' laid out in the Bible, she is being accused of not being 'biblical'.

Being Biblical Means Loving the Whole Bible, Not Just Pet Verses.

You go, Keith. I always love it when you contribute to Sheila's blog. This time you were able to logically expose the hypocrisy of those accusing Sheila.

And this from Baptist Global New:

Why Women Talking has women talking and complementarian men fuming

Apparently, male headship is way more important than women talking and working together to deliver themselves from abuse and injustice. At least one dude from The Gospel Coalition thought this so strongly he felt the need to write about it.

Edited 2/18/23 to add this link:

An Ex-Bible Counselor Responds to Christianity Today

It's another good Read.

Edited 2/22/23 to add this one.

Mark Driscoll's Demand for Loyalty Divides Daughter-in-Laws Family

Just wanted to be able to find this one later.

Money, Power, and Sex

I heard a famous old time preacher back in the day say that it was Gold. Glory, or Girls (or any combination) that makes Pastors, Evangelists, and other Christian leaders fall. This preacher died in 1996. If only he could see things now he would be completely heart-broken over all the corruption in the denominations and mega churches today. More on this after a bit.

My guilty pleasure the last few months is watching "Escaping Polygamy" on YouTube. And the series is exactly what is says it is. It is a reality show starring young ladies who have escaped the Kingston Clan in the Salt Lake Valley who are helping others from that Clan and the FLDS who want to escape.

In the opening credits, one of the girls says, "They think it's about religion but it's not. It's about sex." Also in the credits it is noted that the Kingston Clan, or the Order, rules by fear and intimidation. In one of the episodes I watched recently, it was noted that the Order loves money way more than its own people. Sounding a little bit like Girls, Gold, Glory?

Back in 2011, I used to compare Warren Jeffs, the prophet of the FLDS, with John Piper. Warren Jeffs was all about "Keeping Sweet". That is the way he wants his people to behave, especially his women. They are not allowed their own emotions. In comparison John Piper is concerned with how women respond to men, even in the face of abuse. Their response must be sweet and submissive.

As I work my way through the "Escaping Polygamy" series, I am again reminded of how the FLDS and the Kingston Clan have taken the Money, Power, and Sex religion to dizzying levels.

But the Catholic Church, The Southern Baptist Church, and scores of Mega Church pastors have also been worshiping at the Money, Power, Sex Altar. They are sliding down the same slippery slope that the FLDS and Kingstons are on. It is no longer about Jesus and healing the broken hearted. It's about building the kingdoms of men on the sand of greed and narcissism.

Some years back I wrote a series entitled Sex, Drugs, and Mark Driscoll [Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4], and I discussed how Driscoll's Rock Star Preacher status helped him to get away with stuff your average guy cannot. I'm adding today that Driscoll's Rock Star Preacher status helped him to get away with things the average Narcissist couldn't get away with. This is bad for both the church and the Narcissist.

So, yes, that old time pastor from back in the day, who was concerned about Gold, Glory, and Girls taking preachers down would be shocked to see that nowadays Money, Power, and Sex are all just in a days work for many of these Rock Star/Celebrity Preachers.

Now I'm going to state the obvious.

This needs to stop.

Narcissism and Spiritual Bypassing

 One of my favorite Youtubers that discuss Narcissism is Dr. Ramani. I don't see every video she puts up, but I've shared several of them here and with friends struggling with narcistic abuse.

Well, Dr Ramani put out a video today entitled "Narcissists and Spiritual Bypassing". I have never heard this term, but apparently it was coined in the 70s by John Welwood.

Though she speaks of this in terms of the latest self-help and health crazes, I find it very applicable to many things in Christianity.

The biggest being, of course, the sweeping under the rug of women being abused in patriarchy and complementarian circles. People, both men and women, spiritually bypass the pain of women being abused, telling them that they should just pray harder or submit more, blaming the victim and holding the victim responsible for the toxic behavior of their abuser.

I like this term "Spiritual Bypassing" and I wish that I had the term back when I was trying to figure out and talk about New Calvinism and how it seemed similar to Vulcanism (yes, Spock, Star Trek Vulcanism). So watch out world, Mara Reid is going to be using this term liberally in the future when discussing those who are just too spiritual to give a crap for those suffering in the church.

Well Played, Cosper

 Episode 8 of The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill podcast finally dropped on Friday. Demon Hunting looked into the weird world of Mark Driscoll's Narcissistic Personality Disorder brand of deliverance ministry.

As a side note, Cosper announced in this episode that these Podcasts will begin to come out every two weeks rather than every week. One reason given was that people who initially didn't want to be interviewed for this have been changing their minds, so they are coming forward and wanting their voices to be included in this massive undertaking.

Over all, I suppose that this is good. However, I see this as a potentially detrimental turn in one area.

Apparently there are those who are mad at Cosper for giving feminists and egalitarians too much voice in the fifth episode of the podcast. You know that podcast that I mentioned in my Mars Hill and Consumerism (NPD) post called The Things We Do to Women.

In "The Things We Do to Women" Cosper includes the voices of feminists and actually went as far as addressing the Rape Culture at Mars Hill. He didn't hit it hard. In fact, there are many of us who felt he let Driscoll and Mars Hill off easy rather than giving this issue the full attention that it deserves.

But as is common among Evangelical men, there was an outcry and one star reviews about Cosper giving voice to those filthy feminists. (gasp!!! entities far worse than pedophile pastors and repeat sex offenders that riddle the SBC.)

So in this episode, Episode Eight, Demon Hunting, Cosper again addresses the blatant misogyny of Driscoll and the Mars Hill community. But this time, he brings a Complementarian in to point it out so that the screeching Patriarchy couldn't just poo poo what was being said. The Comp dude was concerned with and opposed to the woman-demeaning culture that Mark had created, including the misogyny perpetuated in his teachings on deliverance.

This can be both good and bad. I do feel that Cosper did well to bring in that pro-woman Complementarian voice. This is why the title of this post includes "well played" in it. However, now I am worried that the egalitarian voice and the voices of trauma informed counselors might be set aside for the rest of the podcast series.

Make no mistake, what Mark taught men and women about sex and the purpose of women was spiritual and sexual abuse. And his warped teachings did, in fact, lead to a rape culture. Women were traumatized. And while it was going on, Evangelical men did not care. This fact should not be minimized or glossed over. And I hope Cosper keeps this in mind and doesn't just throw women under the "keep the peace with the patriarchy" bus.

Dissecting "Love and Respect"

Here is the beginning of a thorough review of the book "Love and Respect".

This review is needed to stand against the off-balanced teaching of the book. It is something I have neither the time nor the patience to do so I'm glad there is someone out there who does.

Love, Respect, and Proof-Texts by Nate Sparks

Thanks, Nate, for taking on this beast.

CBMW Folks Have Lost Their Minds

It's official.
The aberrant doctrines fueling the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood have finally taken their toll on the thinkers in this movement. They have boarded the crazy train and are trying to outdo one another with testosterone tweets.
Julie Anne over at Spiritual Sounding Board is following this:

Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood 2016 Live Conference #CBMW16 Live Tweets Complementarianism Cool-Aid.

I don't know what it is going to take to get these folks to face the reality of their own insanity.

Natalie Greenfield Tells Her Story

Doug Wilson wants her to shut up. But she won't. And I thank God for that. Because men like Wilson are a blight in the Christian culture. They are the flies in the ointment.

So anyway, Natalie has blogged her story several years. Now she has had the opportunity to tell her story out loud in front of people:
My talk at the University of Idaho

Give her a listen. Find out why Doug wants her to shut up.

"The SBC Is Pimping Out Lottie Moon"

Not my words but a quote from and angry female member of the Southern Baptist Conventions, Monica Dennington.

She's angry that the Southern Baptist Convention is, in fact, pimping out Lottie Moon.

Here is a link to her blog/vlog article:

"Are You Funding Terroism? The Lottie Moon Christmas Offering"

I really like her title. And I also like her boldness in stating the sorry truth about the SBC pimping out Lottie.

So when you put the two together, the terrorism and the pimping, what you actually have is female trafficking of a distinguished saint.

Tell it like it is, Monica. Expose the evil of the men in charge of the Southern Baptist Convention, and their greedy, oppressive little hearts.

The Patriarchs' Second Lie to Women

The first lie of the patriarchs is that patriarchy is the prescribed biblical way of doing families. This simply is not true. Jesus actually spoke against it. I pointed this out back in 2011 with the post I Heard It Said Once in which I gave scriptural proof that Jesus did not support patriarchy as the biblical model.

The second lie of patriarchy is that patriarchy protects women and children.

One of my top ten posts links to the story of Doug Phillips, formerly respected patriarch and patriarchy pusher. Katie Botkin's post In Which Lourdes Petitions for a Lifeboat, points out that Doug Phillips was the founder of something called The Christian Men and Boys Titanic Society. This society would commemorate the sinking of the Titanic every year "praising the patriarchal Christian men who sacrificed their lives in favor of putting “women and children first."

But as was seen Phillips was far more concerned with the perks of being a patriarch than any protection it was suppose to offer. He liked having the perk of a live-in nanny that he could sexually abuse rather than protect. When the story broke concerning this nanny he abused, he and his wife were ready to throw the nanny under the bus, or shall we say, push her out of the lifeboat so they could get in it.

This was over a year ago.

Now we have another patriarch who has proven that patriarchs are, indeed, not concerned for women and children, but rather are concerned with themselves, their positions, and their reputations.
Doug Wilson married a gullible young lady to a known pedophile. When it turned out that this pedophile abuse a son born from this marriage Wilson expressed concern for his own reputation and the pedophile. No mention of any concern for either the mother or child is expressed in his response to the criticism he has incurred for promoting and blessing the marriage.

Sarah Korchinski has created a lovely Maury Lie Detector meme that I what to share concerning the second lie of patriarchy.

So, no, Virginia. Not only is Patriarchy not biblical, it also does not protect women and children. It makes them vulnerable to the abuse of patriarchs, mere men who want to be worshiped as gods in their homes and churches.

SHAME on Doug Wilson!

And I say it again. In bold. Large font.

SHAME ON DOUG WILSON!

The man is NOT a pastor though he parades around as one.

The man is NOT wise though he fancies himself thus.

The man does NOT represent Christ or the Gospel though he thinks no one understands either as well as himself

And the man should NOT be revered by those who consider themselves leaders in the body of Christ.

Wilson's foolish, unpastoral, anti-Christian actions led to the molestation of an infant.

He should leave his pastorate and go far away into the wilderness in repentance and for penitence of what he has done as a supposed Christian leader.

I say it again.

SHAME ON YOU, DOUG WILSON.

Proclaiming yourself wise, you truly are a fool.

Everybody else, follow the link for details

Pedophile Supported by Doug Wilson Molests a Baby.

May God have mercy on his misguided and errant soul.

P.S.
For further reading on Doug Wilson see:
Doug Wilson is a Misogynist
and
Doug Wilson is a Misogynist part II
Where I link a post by WTH showing where Doug Wilson almost channels Eric Cartman

The man does not love people. He loves himself and his doctrine.

Scapegoating and the Modern Molech

"Molech was an Ammonite deity who represented masculinity and the part that man played in reproduction to bring about life."

So says Cynthia Kunsman in her very good article about the worship of Masculinity in the Duggar version of Christianity.


Will Anna Duggar be offered as the next living sacrifice to save the Duggar family Brand? Scapegoating, Spread your Legs Theology, and the Modern Molech

Cynthia has done a good job of pointing out how far people will go to prop up their false version of the Gospel.

Reviewing Wilson's Views on Slavery

Tim's Blog - Just One Train Wreck After Another contains a review of Doug Wilson's infamous writings concerning the benefits of slavery in the U.S.

Here is a link to his article:
Doug Wilson Says Slavery Was Good For American Blacks

Remember, this is the Doug Wilson that Piper says is smart and that the people around him are dumb.
Not kidding.
John Piper on Doug Wilson

Patriarchy vs The Croods

I don't do movie reviews very often. For one thing, I can't keep up with the movies I want to see, let alone any others. So I'm not on the cutting edge here at all. In fact, this movie is a year old.

The Croods came out in 2013. I took a couple of my kids to see it. Then it was released on Netflix and I watched it two more times, the last time being Monday night the 21st of April, 2014. I have not grown tired of this flick yet and would watch it again with someone who has never seen it. The zany humor and pro-family theme combination make it one of my favorites of this decade.

Sadly, many Christians won't go see it because it is based on a family of cave people living in a prehistoric era. Many Christians are so concerned with their Young Earth Creation view that they will miss the symbolism in this movie.

Seriously, how many teenage daughters, hitting puberty, have looked upon their families as positively stone age. Conversely, how many fathers dealing with their daughters' puberty have wondered what happened to that little girl they loved. Those poor fathers can't figure out where this emotional/dramatic monstrosity evolved from.

Perhaps the reason this movie has captured my heart is that I watched it back during a time when my church was showing the "Courageous" movie put out by Doug Phillip's Vision Forum group. I didn't see Courageous myself, but did view the purity ring scene from it. You can find that scene at Spiritual Sounding Board:Who Owns a Daughter's Heart.

Contrasting the restrictive, controlling, push of patriarchy over their daughters with the struggles of the father/daughter relationship as portrayed in The Croods brought me to actual tears. And I don't cry much. Just ask my kids. They call me robot mom. I don't display a lot of emotion.

It brought me to tears for two reasons. The first reason for those tears was a deep anger and frustration over how Patriarchy is botching up families with their control and fear tactics.

But the second reason was because The Croods dealt with the subject matter of overprotective fathers and frustrated daughters with more charm and grace than anything the Patriarchy crowd has ever come up with.

Let's get into the review part.

As mentioned before, there is a character conflict between father Grug and daughter Eep. Grug wants to keep his family safe. They are the only family left in the area, since the other families were all taken out by various prehistoric dangers. And as Eep says, Grug has been able to keep them safe because he is strong. That, and they hide in a cave most of the time.

Eep can't stand the cave and wants to explore. But everything is dangerous and their family motto is: "Never not be afraid!"

Then enters the character 'Guy' who tells Eep that the world is ending, changing, and that the only way to escape it is to follow the sun. But Eep knows she can't leave her family and the safety of the cave.

However, the ground shakes, the cave is destroyed and the Croods are forced to venture into dangerous territory that is all the more dangerous because it is unfamiliar.

Along the way Eep meets up with Guy again and he joins their small group (whether he likes it or not) because they need his fire. Somehow, Guy convinces them all that they need to follow the sun. The presence of Guy adds tension due to his new ways of thinking that Grug sees as bad.  But it's his new ways that help them survive their trek Westward.

I was in a conversation over on Thatmom's blog with a gal by the name of Avelinn concerning the draw of the Patriarchy on the Evangelical movement. We came to the conclusion that the reason it was so enticing is because we are in a time of changing and it's scary. Patriarchy promises to keep our children safe, like Grug's devotion to the cave and rules kept the Croods safe for so long. But as we have seen, Patriarchy can't keep our children safe. And in fact, Patriarchs, like Doug Phillips, are dangerous wolves in sheep's clothing the prey on children. I had considered writing on The Croods and contrasting it to Patriarchy. Our conversation has convinced me to carry it out.

Because the conclusion of The Croods is far more satisfying than the conclusions the modern day Patriarchs have. The Patriarch's conclusion involve scandal, like Phillips, Mahaney, and Gothard.

Without giving too much away, we learn that it wasn't just Grug's strength that was able to save his family. It was also the power of Grug's love for his family that saved them in the end.

If you haven't figured it out, yet. I highly recommend The Croods if you are looking for family entertainment that actually builds up families rather than tears them down.

It is available on Netflix and DVD.